


Clowns Are Hot

by Pir8_6The9_Legend



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, F/F, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, So don't worry, most of the bad stuff will be contained in small portions of certain chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-14
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2020-10-18 16:03:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 23,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20641889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pir8_6The9_Legend/pseuds/Pir8_6The9_Legend
Summary: Two pink girls with very tragic backstories meet on an app called Tinder, wonder what'll happen.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First fanfic  
Critique welcome

“You need to get out more Pin-” was all Yellow said before being smacked in the back of her head by Blue’s normally gentle hand an action Yellow cursed at though didn’t saying anything about because she knew she would often go into a conversation with the mindset of thinking comes later, speakinging comes now, though she wasn’t wrong, Penelope, or Pink as her friends would affectionately call her, really did need to “get out more” as Yellow had bluntly put it, ever since being freed from the grasp of ‘The Diamonds’, she had basically never left the house she shared with Yvette (Yellow) and Belle (Blue) and it was taking a toll on her body and mental state, obviously not as bad as what ‘The Diamonds’ did to her but still not healthy.

“What I think Yellow” Blue rebuked glaring slightly at her girlfriend “was trying to say was that it would be better for you to go out and meet new people.” she finished off with a soft smile, nothing Blue said was wrong and Pink didn’t disagree with any of it, she knew that going out and meeting people would be healthy for her, she’s always known in the back of her mind that the hermit lifestyle she was living was bad for her, but even knowing that all that she was doing was bad for her she rolled her eye at Blue’s statement, maybe Pink did it because she already agreed with Blue, or maybe she did it due to being way too tired for a lecture, which she rightfully deserved but Blue was too timid to give and Yellow was too blunt for Blue to even let her. Blue glared at her “_ Penelope. _” she spoke out with the most anger Pink had ever heard from the blue haired girl which still isn’t a lot but it was still jarring to say the least. Blue sighed before closing her eyes and saying “I know we should’ve asked you beforehand but we were afraid you would procrastinate and end up not doing anything, remember, we’re doing this for your own good”

Pink blinked, _ what could she possibly be talking about? _“Wha-” she barely got up as her phone screen was shoved into her face showing an app she didn’t quite recognise but she couldn’t analyse for more than a second for the voice of her blonde haired friend shook the room.

“We made you a tinder account!” Yellow exclaimed her excitement was almost palpable as her entire body was shaking.

It took Pink a few moments to process the image in front of her and the loud announcement Yellow had made but once she did, the only word her mouth could get out was a loud horrified “WHAT!?” making Pink almost fall out of her chair, “W-why w-would you d-do that!?” she managed to stutter out, the idea that they would just do that was utterly incomprehensible to her. There has to be a better way to meet new people other than a dating app, right? Well, she’s not very accustomed to the real world, she only found out what Tinder was about a month ago because of Yellow making some not so subtle about her needing to, as she put it, “get laid”, maybe she just didn’t know how the world worked which was one of the many reasons why she should get out more, but she was confident there had to be something better than Tinder to help her.

“It was Yellow’s idea.” Pink was finally saved from her thoughts by the sound of her blue haired friends voice making her look up to see Blue pointing at her girlfriend who was looking way too proud of herself, which in all honesty is her default look. “As for the ‘_ why _ ’” Blue almost whispered, her hands held together in front of her thighs and her head turned away from Pink looking out a window “I know I always reprimand Yellow for implying that you need to, quote unquote “get laid”, _ however _” the emphasized ‘however’ scared Pink for it could only mean one thing “she does have a point, not about getting laid, just that having that sort of relationship and dating could be good for you.” Blue is saying that Yellow is right about something.

“What’s that I hear?” Pink could barely stifle the groan that threatened to manifest itself from her throat as Yellow spoke leaning over with the most smug look on her face “Me? The great and lovable Yvette ‘Yellow’ Jaune, being right about something? It’s almost like I’m right about absolutely everything.” at that Pink couldn’t stifle the groan as Yellow started resiting all the times she had been right when others weren’t. During all of Yellow’s monologuing, Blue was just standing there giggling with one hand over her mouth of course, Blue found everything that Yellow did, which any normal person would find obnoxious, to be adorable, how Blue fell for Yellow had always confused Pink but they were happy, so she was in no place to judge.

Whilst she was tuning out whatever Yellow was saying, Pink saw her phone shake meaning she just got some sort of notification. She picked up her phone to see what it was and to her surprise, and slight horror, the notification was from Tinder alerting her that someone had sent her a message. _ That fast? _ She pondered, could someone really have messaged her after her only having the app for, what she assumed to be, less than 24 hours but then again, as she said, she isn’t very accustomed to the real world, maybe things just go faster when she’s not on drugs that force her into obedience. Pink decided to click on the person’s profile because, one, she had nothing better to do, and two, Blue was usually right about these sort of things.

The person only had one picture of herself on her profile and it was a top perspective selfie showing her entire body, she had two dark magenta pigtails much like the buns Pink used to wear her hair in, she wore a baggy t-shirt covered in hearts, a pair of pink baggy pants and finally she wore two pink crocs with black socks underneath them. The girl was very cute in Pink’s opinion though she was saddened to see the large bags under the pink haired stranger's eyes _ Why doesn’t this girl get enough sleep? _ She wondered with concern, she couldn’t quite place it but there’s something about the girl that’s familiar to Pink; something that made her drawn to the sleep deprived maiden.

Pink scrolled down to her description to see if it could give any clues as to why she had trouble sleeping. The girl was somewhat of a clown actually, no, she was fully a clown including the fact that she had worked as a clown in her younger years which seemed kind of odd since she was only 26 but Pink decided not to dwell on that for too long, the girl had the full repertoire for a clown, she loved to juggle and riding unicycles, she had skills in all sorts of makeup and knew a few magic tricks to boot, it said that she had been struggling with depression for a while but was getting better, much to the relief of Pink, she currently lives with three older woman who she considered to practically be her adoptive mothers and that she was introduced to tinder by one of her younger friends. As Pink was reading she realized that there was a lot of old 1920’s slang in riddled throughout the paragraphs, a lot of ‘gee’, ‘swell’ and at one point she described herself as a bearcat which Pink had to look up to find out the meaning of the word, turns out it just means a lively woman.

Pink decided that this girl was worth a shot, she seemed very nice and sounded like a blast to be around so even if they don’t become a couple she will at least have made a friend. It was there when she was about to see what this girl had sent her, she realized with quite a bit of embarrassment that when she was looking at the girl she had neglected to read her name, _ What a buffoon I am! _ She barrated herself almost out loud. Pink scrolled back up to her picture to see the name of her potential date with haste.

When she got up to the top she was briefly distracted by the girls face again but her eye moved away from the girls cute face and landed on the big letters next to the girls age.

_ Spinel _.

_ A cute name for a cute face _ her mind shot as soon as it saw the 6 letters that formed her name. Spinel. The name fit her face so well she couldn’t even describe it, the girl really looked like a Spinel though, the name isn’t very common so why the name fit so well is beyond her but it just does. Like a glove. The name was soft sounding and it felt nice to say. The name of her future girlfriend potential date.

Pink snapped herself out of whatever thoughts that were going through her head and made herself stop dilly dallying and just look at Spinel’s message already, she swiped to her tinder messages with determination, she was going to get a date with Spinel if it’s the last thing she does.

“Knock Knock”

Was the only thing written when Pink had made her way to the message portion of the app. Pink wasn’t sure what she expected out of someone who wears crocs and uses 1920’s slang but starting a ‘knock knock’ joke definitely wasn’t it though it wasn’t unwelcomed, she didn’t really want to deal with some bad pickup line so a joke would only make her like Spinel more. She wanted to make a good impression so responding normally would be her only option.

“Whos there?” she responded not sure how long it would take for Spinel to message back hoping it wouldn’t take too long.

“It’s Spinel silly” the pink girl responded almost immediately, much to the relief of Pink, and the cute joke earned a chuckle out of her which she instantly regretted because Blue and Yellow, who had started flirting or something (not like pink was paying attention to them), heard the chuckle.

“What’re you laughing at?” Yellow asked as you scuttled her way next to Pink for a better view of what was on her phone. When Yellow saw what was on her phone screen she squealed making Pink almost drop her phone onto the floor. “Oh my stars! Blue come look at this!” she shouted, even though the girl in question was only a few feet behind her, as she grabbed Pink’s phone right out of her hands and ran towards Blue “Look!” Yellow was pointing at the cellular device’s screen with vigor and a kaiju sized smile covering the lower portion of her face.

Blue surveyed the screen for a second before smiling and letting out a hushed “oh my” she looked up at Pink still smiling but the smile seemed to grow wider as she saw the annoyed look on Pink’s face, Pink buried her head into her arms where she heard a small chuckle coming from Blue direction. Pink let out a groan as she hopped out of her chair moving towards Yellow so she could snatch back her phone, but before she could take more than 2 steps her phone vibrated in Yellow’s hand meaning she had just received a notification.

Yellow glanced at the screen in her hand “What does ‘a choice bit of calico’ me-” Yellow tried to say before Pink snatched her phone back with a little more force than intended but she just didn’t want to keep Spinel waiting any longer than she needed to. After getting her phone back she quickly moved her eye across the screen to see the message.

“So what’s a choice bit of calico like you doing on an app like this?”

The question made her blush and snort at the same time, this girl really is cute not just appearance wise, though pink has no idea what the phrase meant but considering the context it was probably something positive, hopefully.

“It means a desirable woman” Pink looked up from her phone to where Blue’s voice came from, seeing her holding her phone as well meaning she had looked it up “but why is she using 1920’s slang?” Pink could ask Spinel that, but it would be rude not to answer her question first. 

She needed to think of something witty and funny whilst at the same time flirtatious and smooth, her response needed to show her intentions but not seem like she’s coming on too strong, she didn’t want to seem like a creep. After a few seconds of consideration she came up with the perfect response to Spinel’s question.

“Just looking I’m looking for a date with a cute crocs wearing clown you wouldn’t happen to know where to find any of those?”

There were a few seconds of silence where it felt like someone was breathing down her neck but that didn’t bother her, she only needed to find out how Spinel would respond. Thankfully after 10 agonizing seconds of waiting came the vibration.

“No I dont think I do”

1 second

“Wait..”

Another second

“Im a cute crocs wearing clown”

Pink couldn’t stop her smile from forming at Spinel’s realization.

“Well arent I a dumb dora that was very smooth of you”

Now Pink was full on laughing at the word usage.

“So it’s a date?” Pink typed out without even thinking at this point.

“Who wouldnt wanna date a hotsy totsy tomato like yourself? Of course its a date! Ill send you my phone number so we can plan this out k?”

“K” Pink responded feeling over the moon at that point. Spinel then sent Pink her phone number like she said she would but it was at that point she realized that the feeling of someone breathing down her neck wasn’t imagined, Blue and Yellow were literally breathing down her neck reading their entire exchange.

“Oh my stars that was smooth of you” came Yellow’s voice from her right her excitement radiating out of her “And to think you ever doubted me” she added with her same brand of smugness she always carried with her “I’m going to help you plan the perfect date ever. First we nee-” Yellow kept talking but Pink wasn’t listening, she was just staring at the numbers Spinel just sent her, this cute and funny girl just sent her number to Penelope “Pink” Rose, a girl who for more than 20 years of her life had no free will whatsoever, a girl with zero social skills, not to mention her missing eye, _ that _girl is going to go on a date with this beautiful girl.

It’s unbelievable.

In the back of her head, she knows that a relationship with Spinel wouldn’t last.

But there’s no harm in hoping, right?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blaine = Yellow Diamond  
Doli = Blue Diamond  
Bianca = White Diamond
> 
> OMG thank you for all the nice comments on the last chapter, they all really mean a lot to me
> 
> Enjoy

Spinel woke up feeling like she was on fire, except the fire had already burned through most of her nerves making her just feel numb with just a little bit of pain scattered throughout her body, though it’s not like she isn’t used to this, the combination of getting very little sleep and always falling asleep in an uncomfortable position really does numbers on one’s body. She lays in bed for another 10 minutes staring at the ceiling before making a single movement, she does this every morning to the point where it’s become a part of her routine and there’s no variation in time, every morning she stares at the ceiling for exactly 10 minutes before getting up and checking the time, the ladder part of her routine being there to see how sleep she got, if Spinel remembers correctly she fell asleep at 5 o’clock, she rose from her bed and grabbed the phone Mother got her after she moved in with them, she chuckled at the memory of how Mom and Mommy got angry think Mother was trying to earn Spinel’s love through gifts which she was silly, Spinel already loved them so there was no love to earn.

Snapping herself out of her thoughts she glanced at her now lit phone screen to see that that the time was 7:40 and taking away the 10 minutes she spent doing nothing, she got approximately 2 and a half hours of sleep  _ A new record, Hurrah! _ Her mind relayed, got to think positively, at least that’s what Steven says. Spinel got up entirely from her bed and headed towards the bathroom putting in a little more bounce into her step than was reflective of her actual emotions at the time, just in case one of her moms are awake, once she got to the bathroom sink she immediately splashed a hand full of cold water into her face to wake her up and then trying to force a smile on her face, never quite reaching her eyes but it would have to do.

Spinel dried her face and started walking downstairs towards the kitchen, she had to go through the living room where she saw that familiar blonde hair of Blaine Diamond, but she just calls her Mom, reading a newspaper on the couch “Morning Mom!” she greeted putting in extra effort to sound as happy as possible.

Mom looked back at Spinel with a warm smile “Good morning Spinel” Spinel knew how happy it made her moms when she referred to them by her designated synonyms for mother, so she made absolute sure to always refer to them as such because if they’re happy then she’s happy. Mom looked back to her newspaper “Did you sleep well?” Spinel hated out right lying to her moms but she doesn’t want them to worry so she just made a loud happy affirmative sound, even from the angle Spinel was standing at, she could see Mom’s warm smile fall for a second, they know she’s lying about her sleep, the bags under her eyes were enough to know that she isn’t sleeping well, the lying has become somewhat of a habit at this point.

Spinel exited the living room and subsequently entered the dining room which was right next to their house’s kitchen, where, on the dining room table she saw the light blue hair falling over a dark blue dress belonging to Doli Diamond wife of Blaine Diamond but she just calls her Mommy, drinking what Spinel assumed to be chamomile tea in a large yellow cup whilst seemingly just relaxing with her eyes closed “Morning Mommy” Spinel said in a hushed tone not wanting to startle Mommy out of her relaxed state. Mommy smiled at the sound of Spinel’s voice before opening her eyes to look at Spinel though her smile seemed to drop slightly as she looked at her.

Mommy was looking specifically at Spinel’s clothing and not anywhere else “Are you wearing the same clothes as yesterday?” at that Spinel looked down to survey her shirt with hearts covering it, her magenta sweatpants and her two pink crocs which was exactly what she wore yesterday .

“Well would you look at that.” Spinel observed realizing that Mommy was correct, she must have forgotten to change into her pajamas last night and also forgot to change when she woke up “Don’t ya worry, I’ll change after breakfast.” she said doing finger guns in Mommy’s direction as she walked backwards towards the kitchen making her chuckle.  _ Success! _

Mommy glanced behind Spinel still chuckling “There’s no need to be so hasty” she stopped confused at what she meant “I believe Bianca is making you breakfast already”

“Mother?” Spinel thought about the tall white haired woman who used to have servants do everything for her “Has she even touched a stove in her entire life?” Spinel joked wanting to get another laugh out of Mommy.

Mommy did in fact laugh slightly at her joke, Spinel always has a much easier time making Mom laugh than Mommy or Mother so whenever she does get a laugh out of either of them it’s twice as rewarding “Believe it or not, when Bianca was younger she was an excellent cook”

“ Phonus balonus!” she shouted although still with the same cheery attitude she always had, at the exclamation she could hear Mom guffaw from the other room, like she said, Mom was always the quickest to laugh, though all of her moms found her usage of 1920s slang to be fascinating and hilarious at the same time, though that’s not the reason she uses the slang it is a very welcomed bonus.

“I can’t  _ believe _ you starlight” came the voice of Bianca Diamond from behind her but Spinel just calls her Mother “you question my cooking abilities, I am severely offended” Spinel turned around on her heel to face the tall Diamond. She had her hair slicked back like usual and was wearing a white t-shirt with the text ‘Live, Laugh, Love’ and a pair of skinny jeans with white socks. She was holding a large plate with what looked like an apple pie on it, she was wearing the most over dramatic betrayed look on her face, “I cannot take this betrayal” she paused “you won't be getting any pie unless you apologize to me”

Spinel gasped “Oh no I’m so sorry!”

“And who’s your favorite mum?”

“ _ Mother _ ” Spinel groaned

“Why thank you starlight” Mother said giving Mommy and Mom, who had just entered the dining room, a smug look.

“That’s cheating and you know it.” Mom almost shouted from her place next to the table, Spinel knew they had this sort of game where they would try and become her ‘favorite’, the idea in itself being utterly ridiculous, how could she pick her favorite mom, all four of them are great and they all love her so there’s no need for any sort of competition “Spinel darling, who is your favorite?” came Mom’s voice snapping her out of her thoughts.

Spinel groaned loudly “Steven is, now give me the damn pie so we can have a family breakfast!” her moms all gasped but went along anyway.

So that’s what they did, they all ate a nice apple pie together like a family talking about whatever came to mind, they talked about how they were visiting Steven and his family in a month week for Thanksgiving, they were all really excited to meet Steven again but Spinel was also very excited to meet everyone else, especially Garnet and Pearl, she heard that Pearl had a girlfriend Spinel hadn’t met yet so that was also very exciting but that reminded Spinel of something. “So,” her moms all looked at her “Steven showed me this app called Tinder” at that Mom looked offended, Mommy’s smile grew a bit and Mother just looked confused.

“What’s Tin-” Mother tried to say before Mom interrupted her.

“What is Steven implying?!” Mom shouted slamming her hands on the table making Spinel flinch.

“Blaine!” Mommy yelled whilst putting her hand over Spinel’s to try and comfort her. She glared at Mom.

“I’m so sorry” she quickly rushed over to Spinel to comfort her as well.

“ ‘s ok, you just st-startled me, that’s all” 

“But it’s not ok, I shouldn’t have done what I did in the first place” Mom consoled Spinel 

“F-fine” Spinel stuttered “but why did you get angry in the first place?” by the way she had screamed, it sounded as if Steven had done something unforgivable.

“Well he was implying that our Spinel needs and app to help her get a date.” Mom said very matter of factly “Which is very untrue, anyone would fall in love with Spinel after just five minutes of being with her.” the rest of her moms seemed to all hum in agreement making Spinel blush.

“W-well, the app just streamlines the process of dating” Spinel crossed her arms with a huff “There’s no need to get angry over that”

“You’re right honey” Mommy agreed glancing over at Mom with a sly grin “Blaine was just being herself.”

Mom gave a dramatic gasp making Spinel laugh.

“Wait, wait, wait” everyone looked at Mother as she began “so from what I’ve gathered this is a dating app” Spinel nodded “Have you used it yet? And if you haven’t, you have to do it with us so we can get you the most perfect girl for you”

Spinel became red at that “I haven’t used it, but” she looked at Mother who was giving her a pleading look,  _ How could someone that tall give such good puppy dog eyes _ “Ugh fine” she relented and as she said that her mothers all simultaneously scooted their way to ber extra close to her “You want me to do it right now?” they all nodded.

She sighed and pulled out her phone, she opened up tinder and immediately went to swiping, though she hadn’t even swiped once before she saw the most beautiful girl Spinel had ever laid her eyes upon, she had light pink hair that she wore in two messy buns to the sides of her head, a pink eyepatch covering her right eye, she was wearing a cute light pink blouse with and a darker pink skirt going down to her knees, her clothes and hair looked slightly disheveled and judging by the fact that the picture was of her eating cereal on a couch, she didn’t know the picture was being taken at the time  _ Still attractive nonetheless _ .

Spinel scrolled down to read her bio hoping the face would be as attractive as the person. The thing stated in the bio was the girls love of juggling or, more so, her love of watching others juggle and watching people doing clownery in general, which was a point for her since Spinel used to be a clown herself. The bio also mentioned something about recovering from something she would rather not talk about on the first date which worried Spinel a great deal but she decided to keep going. The rest of her bio was pretty vague, like someone else was trying to describe her interests but that would just be silly.

Despite a lot of the vagueness of her bio, Spinel really like the girl so far so she decided that messaging her would be very worth it. She would message this girl and…

_ Wait. _

_ What was her name? _

Spinel thought for a second and realized that she had completely forgotten to read the girls name whilst being distracted by her pretty face and cute outfit, Spinel can’t believe she was being such a dumb dora to forget something as simple as reading a name. Spinel decided to swallow her pride and just scroll back up to find out her name.

What greeted her was a name that fit way to well with the face she had been given.

_ Penelope _

A pretty name for a pretty face.

Well now that the name was out of the way it was time to message this girl already. 

She pressed down and swiped right with all of her might (a slight exaggeration) and quickly typed down the perfect opening line, the line she had thought about for hours so as to get the best response she could possibly get, an opening so grand that it will be written in the history books for this opening was designed to make any man, woman or whatever else, instantly fall in love with her.

“Knock knock.”

The perfect line.

Beside her she heard a low snort making Spinel jump in her seat slightly, she had completely forgotten about her moms during her examination of Penelope. Spinel looked up to Mom and Mommy who were on her right who, for some reason had strange looks on their faces. Spinel looked up to her left only to see Mother with the same strange look.

“Is something wrong?” she asked quizzically.

Mother looked at her warping her strange expression into a smile “Nono starlight nothings wrong” she paused “we just recognized this, Penelope”

“Oh” Spinel was surprised at that “How d-” she tried to say before being interrupted by a vibration in her hand.

“Who’s there?”

“It’s Spinel silly” she responded almost as soon as she saw Penelope’s response hoping her response would be as fast as the last one.

But this time she didn’t respond, she sat there for almost 2 minutes without a response so she chose to take some initiative and write something before Penelope could respond  _ she’s probably just blown away at the perfect opening. _

“So what’s a choice bit of calico like you doing on an app like this?”

It took around 25 seconds for Penelope to respond but that was most likely just her looking up what the slang she used meant plus being very blown away by Spinel’s excellent flirting.

“Just looking I’m looking for a date with a cute crocs wearing clown you wouldn’t happen to know where to find any of those?”

_ Huh? _

Spinel was genuinely confused at the answer. Was there some hidden meaning behind her response that Spinel just couldn’t see? Was Spinel being a dumb dora again? 

After 10 solid seconds of staring at the message she relented to just give a basic response.

“No I dont think I do”

And then she realized with wide eyes

“Wait..”

Holy moly was she dumb.

“Im a cute crocs wearing clown”

She put her phone down for a second to put her head into her hands, hearing the low chuckles of her moms. She picked up her phone again and got back her composure so she could get back to messaging the most beautiful tomato to ever exist.

“Well arent I a dumb dora that was very smooth of you”

Using old slang whilst complimenting someone always seems to work for her.

“So it’s a date?” 

The message Penelope had just sent made Spinel rub her eyes.  _ This girl couldn’t be serious _ . But there she was, asking  _ her  _ out on a date, she had to strain herself just not to faint.

“Who wouldnt wanna date a hotsy totsy tomato like yourself? Of course its a date! Ill send you my phone number so we can plan this out k?”

She was barely able to even type all that out, she was actually shaking because of how shook she was, she almost dropped her phone on the table after Penelope sent her a “k” in response to which Spinel quickly messaged her number back. She heard some low good jobs and excited squeals from beside her but she was just too shook by it all, this smooth goddess of a woman wanted to go out with  _ Spinel _ , the depressed clown who grew up alone for most of her life, not to mention her criminal record,  _ that _ girl is going to go on a date with this beautiful girl.

It’s unbelievable.

In the back of her head, she knows that a relationship with Penelope wouldn’t last.

But there’s no harm in hoping, right?


	3. Chapter 3

Pink’s mind was on fire, she was more nervous about this date than anything else in her entire life, which is very strange since Pink had never even heard this girl talk. It was 5 hours before the date would begin and Pink was pacing in her room trying to figure out what to wear. Why didn’t she ask for Yellow or Blue’s help? Well that’s because she’s an idiot who overestimated her ability to make any decision on her own but what’s done is done, despite the fact that she could just call them or anyone else for that matter to ask for advice, she’s not backing down now. You can say a lot about Pink but what you can’t say is that she has too little pride, maybe too much in some cases, including this one. They aren’t doing anything extraordinary for the date, they’ll just be going to a café downtown and then go for a walk through the park, so it would make sense for her to wear something casual but what if Spinel won’t be going in something casual, then she might think that Pink isn’t taking the date seriously enough. But what if she puts on too much and Spinel thinks she’s trying too hard? What if… What. If…..

Her mind trailed off as she heard a vibration from where she left her phone on her bed, she shouldn’t get distracted, the date is in 5 hours she should be preparing every second, but she really needed to get herself out of her panic attack about clothes. She walked over to her bed, sat down and picked up her phone to see who could have messaged her.

‘Spinel’

Was the name attached to the message, and there definitely wasn’t a heart emoji next to the name, nope, and she is also NOT in denial about her strange fascination with a person she’s never even met in person before, it’s totally just physical attraction and finding her funny. After she didn’t have thoughts about denying the feelings she doesn’t have she unlocked her phone and got herself to the message app eager to see what the cute clown had to say.

“Hey so i kno our date is in like 5 hours but i need help picking out some clothes”

Pink stared at the message for a few seconds before another one came up without her responding.

“i would ask my moms but i already told them that i didnt need their help and im too embarrassed to ask them for help now”

Pink chuckled at the second message finding it funny how they were both having the same problem with their pride but quickly began thinking  _ what should she wear?  _ Now her instincts say she should tell her to wear something casual, that’s the most logical thing on a date such as this, but Pink doesn’t feel like she should have control over what Spinel wears, Spinel should feel comfortable in her clothes not feel like she has to wear something. Should she ask what Spinel wants to wear? No. If she is having the same anxious feelings as Pink is, telling her to wear what she wants wouldn’t help with that, again, Spinel should feel comfortable on this date not scared of wearing the wrong thing. And then it hit her. Spinel needs to be comfortable during the date but she can’t be comfortable if she thinks Pink is going to judge her choice of clothing.

So Pink took a deep breath and began typing.

“Spinel, the only thing I ask of you for this date is to bring yourself, what you wear doesn’t matter to me as long as you are  _ comfortable _ . So wear whatever makes  _ you _ happy because I swear to you that I will love it.”

_ Was that too much? _ Was the first thought that came to her mind as she pressed send. What if Spinel feels overwhelmed? Pink would never want that. She hoped desperately that Spinel wouldn’t react badly. Pink couldn’t think of any reason she would, but her anxiety about the whole situation clouded her mind from logical thinking.

Before she could get lost in her thoughts again, Spinel responded to her message.

“Oh. My. Stars! WHY ARE YOU SO COOL AND SMOOTH?! ITS NOT FAIR!”

Pink started laughing loudly at her response most likely loud enough for Blue and Yellow to hear but at that point she didn’t care who heard.

“Well I don’t find it fair that you’re so cute and funny!”

The exclamation point might not have been necessary, she didn’t really care though.

“AAAGH JEGUS! YOURE JUST PROVING MY POINT! OH MY GOG!”

“;)”

“ASGHDSDFSD”

At that point Pink was howling with laughter at the exchange to the point of tears, she didn’t even hear her door burst open letting in a worried Yellow and an intrigued Blue, she only barely noticed when her phone was taken out of her hands by Yellow, and by the time she had stopped laughing Yellow was gone whilst Blue was standing in front of her with Pink’s phone in her hands lightly chuckling at, what she presumed to be, Pink’s conversation with Spinel.

“She seems to like you” Blue said in her normal hushed tone, Pink merely blushed with a small smile and nodded looking down. She heard Blue chuckle slightly as she placed Pink’s phone beside her on the bed and left without another word.

Pink looked at her phone for a few seconds before doing anything, she’s not even met this girl yet and she feels like if anything were to happen to her she would do, well, she would do something. She picked up her phone to look at their messages one more time before getting back to, whatever she was doing before. Though when she looked at her phone screen, she saw that Spinel had left two more messages.

“thanks for the advice”

Was the first message, it wasn’t anything unexpected but for some reason her heart fluttered at those words  _ Damn, I got it bad _ . The second message however made her heart do a lot more than flutter.

“also i just thought you should know that the thing you said to me, i think the same about you”

It made her heart stop, then do two backflips, start breakdancing, sky dive and lastly do a little flutter. She just stared at the message for a few minutes doing nothing, just staring. How could this random girl make her feel this way? She’s barely had any conversations with her and all of them were over text. She decided to stop herself before her brain went on another rant about nothing.

She smiled at her phone and typed.

“Thanks”

After that she went over to her closet, put on her favorite pink blouse and skirt and went over to the bathroom to do her hair in the spiral buns she’s neglected to wear for a few months now

* * *

  
  


Pink looked at her phone for the third time that minute as she stood in front of ‘Prism café’ which was only made a little less than 3 years ago, she was about 12 minutes early for her date. Should she wait outside or just walk inside to get a seat and some coffee. It would make sense to go inside and take a seat but what if-

Nope, she is not doing this again. She is not going to cloud her mind with a bunch of pointless what ifs, she just needs to ‘do’ for once. So she took a step into the café seeing that it was mostly empty except for the couple in one of the corners, a large girl with rainbow dreads was sitting next to a small blonde girl with glasses seemingly explaining with a lot of hand gestures something on her computer, the larger girl listening intently periodically sipping on the coffee in her hands. Pink walked up to the buff blonde barista next to the register her name tag reading ‘Topaz’.

“What can I get you ma'am” came a very soft voice from the large not so soft looking person.

Pink looked at their selection of home brewed coffees very confused at what anything meant, the only thing she had a vague idea of what it meant was the ‘Honey Cappuccino’ which also sounded very good so that’s what she decided on, not wanting the barista to wait for too long.

“I-I’ll h-have one medium Honey Cappuccino p-please” Pink stuttered out.

“Nervous?” Topaz asked raising an eyebrow.

“Y-yeah” Pink started scratching her neck “I-i just have this date and I don’t want to mess up”

Topaz smirked at Pink “I hear ya, my fiance  _ still _ gets nervous whenever we go on dates”

She snorted despite her nerves “That just proves how much she loves you” 

“Yeah, I know that much from just Aqua’s thorough planning of our wedding, cause she wants it to be perfect for me.” Topaz smile grew more soft at the end

Pink felt her nerves dissipate slightly as she talked to Topaz “She sounds lovely” Pink smiled at Topaz before remembering her drink “uh, what did the drink cost again?” Pink asked reaching for her purse.

Topaz seemed kind of flustered as she spoke “R-right, that will be 2.25$”

Pink gave Topaz the money and quickly scampered off to a table near the opposite corner from the other couple at the café, didn’t want to interrupt whatever they were doing.

After 5 minutes Topaz came with her Cappuccino to her table.

After 10 minutes it was getting closer to the time the date was and Pink’s nerves were starting to return.

After 12 minutes the time of the date came and Spinel was nowhere to be seen.  _ Of course not, what was I thinking? No one would want to go on a date with me.  _ No. Stop. Spinel wouldn’t ditch her like that, it was only 5 hours ago they were talking about the date so she couldn’t have forgotten, actually, why is she even worried, it’s natural for people to be a few minutes late, she really needed to get a grip on reality. Everything would go smoothly, she wasn’t going to mess everything up like the clutz she seems to think she is. After a few short breaths and a small sip of her coffee, her nerves had gone away until,

*bling*

The sound of the café bell found its way to Pink’s ears. She looked up and saw Spinel wearing her usual pigtails, the beautiful girl had thick black eyeliner around her eyes with three lines of mascara going down below her eyes, she had a pink polka dot bow tie on with a magenta dress shirt, she wore a pair of khakis with, you guessed it, a pink belt, her entire ensemble was strange but the weirdest part of it, were the pink crocs the she recognized from her tinder profile. Despite the strangeness of the outfit, she loved it like she said she would, it was just so, Spinel.

Spinel didn’t see Pink at first but she did wave towards the couple who waved back at her, after that Spinel scanned the café looking for Pink finding her after just a second of looking. Spinel almost ran towards her as soon as their eyes met and Pink’s heart started beating faster and faster as Spinel approached her ever present smile being bigger than ever.

“Hiya Penelope” 

Oh, this girl is going to be the death of Pink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 10 points to anyone who can guess the who the owner of Prism Café is
> 
> also, thanks for all the nice comments y'all always make my day


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some more depressing stuff half way through just so ya know
> 
> Also I drew Spinel's outfit because I liked it so much
> 
> https://himrzed.tumblr.com/post/187819997971/spinels-outfit-in-chapter-3-of-my-spinearl

_ I’m gonna be late I’m gonna be late I’m gonna be late I’m gonna be late _ was all that went through Spinel’s mind as she ran in the direction of ‘Prism Café’. She was the one who suggested the place in the first place. What if Penelope doesn’t know what to get? Oh gog, their date is going to be ruined and it’s all because of her stupidity. This is what she gets for misplacing her makeup and her favorite dress shirt. And now her punishment is both being late for her date AND she has to run in crocs. She can’t believe she is even thinking this right now but she really regrets wearing crocs for her date, although she’ll never stop believing that they are the best type of shoes out there.

Now enough of her regrets and fuck ups, she has to make it to her beutiful date and somehow not scare her away with just being herself.  _ Easier said than done _ . She could see the café only a bit away so she sped up to make sure she made it on time.

She stopped at the entrance to the café for a second looking at her phone  _ One minute late _ not as bad as she thought. Spinel walked in and quickly saw Bismuth and Peridot sitting in their usual spot doing whatever it is they do. She waved at them getting an awkward smile from Bismuth and an enthusiastic wave from Peridot. After that exchange, Spinel scanned the store to find Penelope finding her in the opposite corner to the couple. She rushed towards her smiling , trying to stow away her nerves as she did.

“Hiya Penelope” hoping her nerves didn’t show on her face.

She expected her to either smile and say something super smooth or end the date right then and there because she realized how unlovable Spinel is, but what she didn’t expect Penelope to do was turn bright red and stutter out a “H-h-i S-s-spinel” this girl that made Spinel almost throw her phone at the wall with her smooth flirting, was blushing and stuttering at the sight of her, that made Spinel forget all about her nerves.

Spinel gave Penelope her trademark grin “Well glad to know your messages weren’t lies” she said with a cheery tone before bouncing to get her coffee, a large caramel macchiato with a lot of cream and even more sugar “Hey Topz, the usual please”

“You seem cheery today” Topaz said with a sly grin

“Don’t I always?”

“Cheerier” she corrected herself

“Well, when you got a date with a pretty girl, you tend to be more cheery.” she grinned as she reached into her large purse for her wallet and paying for her coffee.

Topaz glanced over to where Penelope sat “She seems to like you”

“Yeah” she whispered looking down, her large grin going down to a soft smile before thanking Topaz and marching back to her date catching Bismuth and Peridot trying to hide their stares and photo taking, the rest of the gems are going to have a field day when they find out about her date. She can even picture, Steven is going to overdramatically say he feels betrayed for Spinel not telling him about the date, Amethyst is going to make some sort of inappropriate comment, Garnet will most likely just nod and give her a thumbs up, Ruby will give her a pat on the back congratulating her whilst her wife Sapphire will just give her a smile, Pearl is going to find out who her date was and give her advice on how to  _ woo  _ Spinel, Bismuth and Peridot have already found out and Lapis is just an enigma to Spinel.

As Spinel reached their table she saw that Penelope was simply staring at her with her mouth agape. As Spinel sat down next to her, before she could ask what was wrong, Penelope spoke up in the softest voice “You’re so tiny” putting a hand on her cheek still staring.

At that Spinel became as red as a tomato “W-WHAT!”

Penelope chuckled “I knew you were cute but, seeing you in person is a whole different experience” She said smiling softly at the 5 foot girl.

Spinel grew even redder “I-I-I c-c-can s-s-say th-the same a-about you” she somehow managed to stutter out, with her being so flustered by the pink haired goddess before her, she would have thought that she wouldn’t be able to get out a single word.

Penelope kept chuckling tears forming in her eyes. Spinel stared at her, she had the most melodic laugh she had ever heard, she started to feel strange, like she’d never want this moment to end, she wanted to keep making Penelope laugh, she wanted to hear that sound every day, she wanted to see her face as often as possible.

As Penelope slowed down her laughter she caught Spinel staring at her face “what?” she asked still smiling.

“Your laugh is beautiful” Spinel didn’t even realize that she said it aloud until Penelope started blushing hard.

She composed herself quickly however “Well you do have the unique skill of making me laugh”

Spinel gave a large grin “I should hope so, I really want to hear that laugh again”

They grinned at each other and kept going like that, sort of like a game of tennis, back and forth flirting and jokes, neither of them even realized that Peridot was filming them until Penelope accidentally glanced their way making Peridot fumble with her phone trying to act like she wasn’t filming them. “Do you know them?” She whispered into Spinel’s ear pointing at the couple.

“Yup” She responded popping the ‘P’ “They’re most likely just going to send those videos to my friends, so it’s nothing to worry about.” Then Spinel realized “u-unless you’re not comfortable with that, then I’ll tell them to delete the videos for you”

Penelope smiled softly at her “no, it’s fine” she reassured.

They kept talking until both of their coffee cups were empty, so Spinel decided to take the initiative “Let’s blouse so I can show you the park I told you about” she offered as she stood up.

“That sounds lovely” Penelope said back as she stood up herself

They walked out of ‘Prism café’ together, Spinel waving goodbye to Topaz, Bismuth and Peridot as they did, heading towards a small park that Spinel likes taking walks through. But as they walked Spinel noticed something, she wasn’t walking, she was skipping, whilst she normally does skip when she’s outside she usually forces it to try and seem happy, for her perceived happiness to infect the people around her if just slightly, but now she isn't forcing it, she's skipping because she’s genuinely happy. She knew that Penelope made her happy before, but it was now that she fully grasped that fact, the fact that this random girl she met on tinder made her forget all about the bad stuff that has happened to her and all the bad stuff she has done, if only for a little while, was kinda insane. Though she loves her moms and she loves being around them but they never had the ability to make her truly happy, they did their best but her stupid depressed brain just didn’t care about what they did but for some reason, it did care about what Penelope does.

She apparently slowed down as her thoughts caught her, this made Penelope stop as well to look down at her “Are you alright?” The worry in Penelope’s voice made Spinel’s heart ache. She made her worry, she made this kind, beautiful girl worry. What’s wrong with her? Does she have to ruin everything? She can’t bother Penelope with her problems, that wouldn’t be fair to her, she deserved better. “Spinel!” She heard the voice of her date call, she had started dissociating, and that just ended up making her worry more.  _ Good FUCKING job Spinel _ “You’re crying!” Spinel put a hand up to her face, huh, she had been crying, which just ended up making Penelope worry more. “Please Spinel, tell me what’s wrong” her voice was almost pleading “is it me, am I doing something wrong?”

Ah fuck, she made Penelope think it was her fault “No no no” she quickly said as she saw tears form in her date’s eyes “It’s my dumb brain that’s the problem,  _ you’re _ doing perfect” she reached out to Penelope to comfort her. “Sometimes I feel like my brain should shut up once in a while.” she joked trying to lighten the mood a little and despite everything Penelope laughed which made Spinel cheer up a little.

“Yeah, I know how you feel” and that put Spinel at ease, at least slightly;the fact that she wasn’t alone put her at ease. “Would you mind telling what you were thinking about?”

Spinel wanted to tell her, that, yes she did mind but she just couldn’t, because she realized that she didn’t mind, normally she would mind a lot, normally she would shut herself away from others when people asked about her feelings but with Penelope she felt so safe, so happy that she just couldn’t refuse. “Let’s find somewhere to sit first” Spinel really needed to sit down for this. When they found a bench to sit on they sat close to each other, Penelope gesturing for her to begin so she did “I was- When we were walking” she began with a little bit of hesitation “I realized that I felt very happy, w-with you that is, and I started thinking about how I normally am not very happy, and then that made me think about how my moms could never make me feel happy despite everything they did for me” her voice started sounding more frustrated but she continued “a-and that made me angry at myself, cause, cause I felt like I was being ungrateful, like I didn’t appreciate all that they had done for me,” she took a deep breath to calm herself down “but then I meet you and immediately you start making me happy, like, I like you and all but I just didn’t get how a random person I meet on tinder could make me more happy than the people taking care of me. And then when I got lost in my thoughts and I slowed down and you asked me what was wrong, you sounded so worried and I felt like I ruined everything by making you worried and then I started dissociating due to me beating myself up” she took another deep breath and noticed she started crying but continued anyway “And then you got more worried and then I started getting angrier with myself and then I started crying and you got even more worried again, so like a fucking cycle I got even more angry with myself but then you asked if it was your fault and that snapped me out of my dumb thoughts because you started crying and I didn’t want that and-and-” she was full water works by the end of it all.

She felt herself being tugged and a large mass rap itself around her, it took her a moment to realize that the mass was in fact Penelope hugging her, her tears stopped at that point not sure what to do, until she wrapped her arms around her date returning the hug letting herself seep into it. After a few seconds she felt a hand stroking her hair and Penelope singing a song into her ear that she was all too familiar with.

_ It’s okay It’s okay It’s okay It’s okay It’s okay _

_ You’ve got nothing got nothing got nothing got nothing to fear _

_ I’m here I’m here I’m here. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The person who owns the bar is Hessonite, because prisms and stuff


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Smooch noises*  
My tumblr if you have questions  
https://himrzed.tumblr.com/

After the two of them had cried their hearts out and their tears had dried, Pink offered to keep Spinel company as she walked home, from the smile that grew on her face, Pink assumed that she liked the idea. They talked about random stuff as they walked, Pink made sure that nothing she mentioned would hurt Spinel in anyway, she was very sensitive, but most of that seems to come from her mind which Pink is all too familiar with. During their walk Pink made a joke which caused Spinel to laugh, she looked at her laughing, how happy her laugh made Pink was incomprehensible, the way she would periodically do a loud snort whilst laughing made Pink’s heart skip a beat  _ so this is why Spinel likes making me laugh so much. _ As they continued talking with the occasional joke and flirt put in there for good measure, Pink saw a large mansion that she recognized far too well, it was the mansion owned by her previous  _ boss _ , there was no way she still owned the mansion however, her and the rest of the diamonds did get out of serving a prison sentence but, from what she heard, they gave away most of their possessions and money. They wouldn’t keep the mansion would they? She had no idea but she didn’t plan on finding out, that was until Spinel stopped in front of the gates to it.

“Well this is my stop” Spinel’s cheery voice cut a hole in Pink’s worries. There’s no way Spinel lives with people like the Diamonds, they might have changed according to Steven but no one can change so much in such a short period of time, maybe in a few years or so but not now. Spinel is too sweet to live with anybody like them, her moms are most likely really nice and really sweet just like their daughter, they couldn’t be murderous drug lords who like ridding people of their free will for 20 years of their  _ fucking li _ \- “Penelope?”

She looked down at her date shocked at the sound of her voice, “oh, um, yeah?” 

“Are you okay? You kind of spaced out there.” It’s sort of ironic how Pink was just an hour ago was Spinel concern over her spacing out and now it’s the other way around.

“Of course, I was just” she paused ”..thinking”

“Anythin’ you’d be willing to talk about?”concern growing on her face slightly.

“Um, next time” she responded with a nod.

“Ooooooo, there’s a next time?” The concern on her face dissipating quickly.

“Y-yes” she looked at her date, her magenta eyes glistening from the remaining tears from before, her large grin, her cute pigtails, her strange fashion sense everything about the girl in front of her is absolutely perfect, she may not be perfect mentally speaking but Pink could not care less about such trivial nonsense, the girl in front of her is more than her depression, she’s funny, she’s sweet, she’s an absolute clown, everything about her is beautiful and she likes Pink, that becomes more and more unbelievable by the minute. Pink wants to hold her close, she wants to whisper sweet nothings into her ears, she wants to cuddle up and fall asleep together, she wants to kiss that cute face over and over until she starts to suffer from dehydration, so she would bring a bunch of water bottles when she did start smooching her, she wants to get into bed and start fu- okay mind it’s time to shut up.

“What’re you thinking ’bout now?”Spinel asked wiggling her eyebrows, oh, oh my, Pink was blushing due to her thoughts  _ damn brain why couldn’t you shut up for just one second _ . Well it’s not like her brian is going to make her say stuff she would regret as soon as she says them.

“Do you want to kiss?”  _ WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK MOUTH!? _ Oh no she ruined everything there is no recovering from this, there is no way Spinel wants to kiss after the first date, she’s going to be scared off by her and she’s never going to want to go on a date with her again.  _ Why are you such a fuck up!? You can’t do anything right! You worthless sack of sh _ -

Her thoughts were interrupted by a pair of lips connecting with her own, the warm feeling on her own lips was magnificent so much that her urge to to get away due to shock, she loved this feeling, she wasn’t sure how to describe it but at that moment nothing mattered, not the future, not the past and surprisingly not even the present, the only thing that mattered was the feeling on her lips and the person causing that feeling. The kiss lasted for 10 whole seconds before Spinel disconnected from her but Pink quickly grabbed onto the back of Spinel's head continuing the kiss this time she found more feelings to love, the feeling of Spinel’s hair through her fingers, the feeling of Spinel’s arms around her neck hugging her, the sensation of having her entire body pressed up against this wonderful person was too much for her brain to process.

After what felt like an eternity went by, their mouths moved away from each other and the two of them just stared at one another like they were the only people on planet earth.

Their staring was interrupted by the apparent vibration in Spinel’s pocket, she reached in and got out her phone. She stared at her phone for a second before blushing “uh, well, today was great but I gotta go in, Mother made dinner and I don’t wanna miss out on that” she paused for a second as she moved her foot towards the gate “text you later” she said quickly as she put in a code to open the gate and then run in.

Pink just stood there for a solid 10 seconds wondering. if what just happened was even real before she touched her lips with the tips of her fingers feeling the warmth of Spinel’s still present, a grin grew on her face as she started running home.

This was the best day of her life.

* * *

  
  


She reached her home in record time due to her giddiness, like a teenage girl who just had her first kiss but instead it’s 40 year old girl who just had her first kiss, but it’s all the same. When she got to the door she didn’t even hesitate to unlock and open, she just waltzed right in without a care in the world, she expected to be greeted by Yellow and Blue as she entered, what she did not expect was who did greet her.

“Pink!” came the loud greeting of the ‘Pearl that could’ as she was called not too long ago, or just Pearl as she prefers to be called. Pearl gave Pink a hug which she reciprocated with a lot of confusion. Why was she here? And  _ Who is that tall pink haired lady, and what is she doing in my house?! _

“H-Hi Pearl? What are you doing here?” she asked before moving her hand to point at the other pink haired girl “And who is that?”

“Well, you see, a little birdy told me you were on a date recently”

“A date which ended only half an hour ago” Pink raised an eyebrow at Pearl. “Did you come just because Yellow and Blue told you to?”

“The thing is I didn’t find out from them,” she responded

That shocked Pink. Who else could have told her? “Then who, may I ask, told you?”

“Peridot did” she stated with an innocent smile.

The girl at the café, the girl who was filming them, Spinel said she would just show their friends, Spinel said her name was Peridot right? So if Peridot only showed it to Spinel’s friends and Pearl found out from Peridot…

“You know Spinel?” in her head it was more of a statement than a question but the shock of it all caused her to put questioning in her voice as the words fell out.

Pearl merely nodded before picking out a notebook and pen out of her back pocket “Now since Steven isn’t here, I will have to write everything about your date down but don’t worry about the speed, I’m a fast writer.” 

Pink blinked at Pearl with an exasperated look “How do you know her?” 

Pearl’s smile dropped for a moment, she opened her mouth to say something before closing it, finally she said “I think it’s best if she told you about that.”

Pink sighed. Why does everything important happen when she’s not around? She rubbed the bridge of her nose before looking at the unknown person “You still haven’t answered who that is?” 

“Oh right” she moved towards the tall woman “this” she made a large hand towards the woman “is my girlfriend Star”

“‘Sup” the woman in question moving her head up slightly.

Pearl clapped her hands together grinning “Now that the introductions are over, would you care to take a seat and tell us everything about your date?” she said gesturing to the couch.

Pink blinked for a second before letting out a sigh and getting on the couch  _ Might as well get this over with _ . So she told Pearl everything that went down, her talk with Spinel about what to wear, how overwhelmingly cute Spinel was in person, how much sugar Spinel had in her coffee, the cute outfit she chose, the little funny things they talked about, she even mentioned her breakdown but didn’t go into details for Spinel’s sake, she mentioned how beautiful Spinel’s laugh was and when she got to the end of her retelling, right where Spinel kissed her, she paused. She was still processing everything that happened, or at least the kiss, it was such a wonderful moment that she still couldn’t believe she got to experience it.

Apparently she had gotten lost in her thoughts again because when she heard the clearing of Pearls voice she shot up, startled. “Pink? What happened next?” Pearl asked.

“O-oh right sorry” she then proceeded to go into an unnecessary amount of detail on the kiss and how it felt, but she just got lost in describing it that she didn’t realise that she was talking out loud. “Then I ran back home and that’s it”

Pearl’s girlfriend, Star, was smirking at her whilst Pearl herself was grinning clearly happy for Pink, and considering the fact that she knows Spinel, probably Spinel too. “Oh how wonderful!” Pearl spoke up “I’m so happy that you found someone”

Pink blushed and quickly looked away seeing the clock in the process “oh it’s getting pretty late, will you two fine getting home?” 

That’s when Star spoke up “Pearl was already planning on staying with me for the night and I don’t live too far from here” She looked to Pearl “Should we get going?”

“Ah yes that does sound like a good idea.” She got up from her seat on their arm chair “Will you be at the thanksgiving party next month?”

“I don’t know. The diamonds will be there right?”

“Yes but so will Spinel.” Pearl said putting a hand on her shoulder.

“I-I’ll think about it”

Pearl smiled “Thanks”

The couple left and Pink began moving towards her room to call it a night. She got into her room and just laid herself down not even changing out of her blouse and skirt , she grabbed her phone to message Spinel a good night. To her delight Spinel had already sent her a message, or two messages to be exact.

The first was a selfie of Spinel putting a fork of lasagna into her mouth, with the caption.

“Mother made lasagna! My favorite!”

The second was also a selfie of Spinel but this time she was stuffing her face with a jelly doughnut with the caption.

“ _ HOMEMADE DOUGHNUTS! THIS IS LIKE THE THIRD BEST THING TO HAPPEN TODAY!” _

Pink’s smile grew at the second message, she had an idea of the second best and the absolute best are but she wanted to see Spinel say it herself.

“But what would 1st and 2nd best things be?”

“Well, 2nd best is obviously the date and well I bet you can guess what number 1 is ;)”

“Oh I think I may have an idea ;)”

Pink smile grew bigger and bigger with every message, she had really fallen for this girl.

“Wish I could talk more but it’s getting late” “Good night Spinel”

“Good night Penelope”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains a lot more gruesome content than the other chapters but all of that is conveniently marked,  
The continuous italic text is a dream sequence and that's where a bunch of messed up stuff occurs, so if you can't handle that sort of stuff then just skip and I'll explain what happened in the notes at the end  
That being said  
Enjoy

As Spinel ran through the front door of her home, she felt like she could take on the world; she felt like she could challenge god to a fist fight and win. Is this what you feel like every kiss? She knows for a fact that isn’t the case, since this isn’t technically her first kiss but it was the first one that felt this amazing. In the past her kisses have been with one-night stands or people trying to take advantage of her. Normally thinking about her past would hurt and make her sad but the adrenaline that came from her long drawn out kiss with Penelope stopped her from being anything but happy. And oh right, SHE SAID THERE WOULD BE A NEXT TIME! Another date with the most wonderful girl in the world, maybe this time she’ll be able to show of her juggling skills like she intended to do when they got to the park, instead of sitting there crying like the useless sack of garbage sh-  _ STOP! _ She will not allow her stupid brains with its stupid thoughts to ruin this for her, Penelope likes her, it’s not just pity, it’s not just pity,  _ it’s  _ _ not _ _ just pity- _

Before her brain could, once more, lose itself in self depreciative thoughts she felt herself be dragged into a large hug from three different directions.That hug being curtisee of her three mothers all giving variations of ’congrats’ and ’we are so proud of you’. Her smile grew as she melted into the hug.

After a minute or so, she wasn’t counting, the hug dispersed. Mother leaned down to Spinel’s level, which was quite the task since she was so tall “So” she began clapping her hands together “how’d the date go?” 

Before Spinel could answer, Mom interjected “Judging by how it ended, I’d say it went pretty well.” She gave Spinel a sly grin which made her blush.

“Now now” The low sound of Mommy’s voice caught her ears “you’re embarrassing Spinel, she’ll tell us about her date over dinner, right?” She smiled a warm smile at Spinel, she nodded.

They all moved to the kitchen where hee moms had made her dinner. On the kitchen table there were four plates all with rectangular pieces of lasagna on them, she felt excitement course through her veins “Lasa-g-na!” She exclaimed pronouncing the food with a hard ’g’, she heard Mommy whisper behind her  _ why does she pronounce it like that? _ Earning what Spinel assumed to be a mumbled  _ I don’t know _ from Mother, they just didn’t understand her culture.

They sat down on their respective seats getting ready to eat their meals. “So” Mother was sitting with her hands clamped together and her elbows on the table “give us every detail of the date.”she paused “please”she said the last part with a bit of pride as if saying please is something grand.

Spinel held up a finger as she pulled out her phone “I have to send something to Penelope” she then grabbed her fork with a large amount of her lasa-g-na on it and took a selfie with it infront of her mouth before putting the whole thing in her mouth she also gave the picture a quick caption.

“Mother made lasagna! My favorite!”

Then she turned her attention back to her moms readying herself to retell the date “Do you want the long version or the short version?”

“I did say give us every detail, didn’t I?” White responded looking intently at Spinel.

“Alright, alright” so she did tell them every detail, from her being late to Penelope’s cute reaction to meeting her in person, from Penelope’s cute outfit to her melodic laugh, she kept retelling everything that happened during the café until she got to their walk towards the park. Spinel paused, she didn’t want to make her moms feel bad, the whole reason she started crying was because of them, they weren’t at fault for her tears but they might not see it that way, they might think she’s ungrateful, but she knows she shouldn’t think like that, she knows that her moms would never blame her for her feelings but her stupid head will still worry because she is so  _ fucking retar _ -

“Starlight?!” Came Mother’s voice interrupting her dumb brain from going on but she didn’t think shouting would be appropriate for simple dissasotiation until she felt something warm run down her eyes. She had started crying. “Starlight are you alright?”

“I-I guess not…” was all she managed to get out.

“Did something happen during the date?” Mom asked “because if she hurt you I swear to go-”

“She didn’t hurt me!” The idea that they would even insinuated that Penelope would ever hurt her made her blood boil. Penelope was the sweetest, prettiest girl she’s ever met, she would never hurt her. “ I just” she paused “I just realized that I was happy with her, happier than I am with you, and I know how that sounds, and, and” the tears started returning “I felt awful that even after all that you’ve done for me I’m still not truly happy but when I was with Penelope I-I felt so safe and I-I-I-” she felt herself be crushed into another hug from all three of her mothers again.

“It’s okay” She heard Mother say 

“you can’t control your feelings” Mommy continued on what Mother said.

“We’re just happy that you’re happy” finally came Mom’s voice

Normally, on any other day, she would cry more from that but here, in the comforting arms of her adoptive family, she felt her sadness drift away. They’d been sitting like that for maybe a minute or so until Spinel realized “My lasa-g-na is getting cold!” she quickly ushered her moms back to their seats so she could finish her tasty lasa-g-na as she retold the rest of the date ending it off with a long dramatic description of their kiss.

Mother clapped her hands together with a smile on her face before she went into the kitchen and came back a minute later with a tray of homemade doughnuts making Spinel rise quickly from her seat. “I” she got glares from Mom and Mommy making her sigh “ _ We _ made doughnuts” as she laid the tray down on the table she leaned in close to Spinel’s ear whispering “It was all me” making Spinel giggle.

Spinel grabbed a doughnut and went to take a bite but she got an idea, Penelope needs to know that she has been given homemade doughnuts, so she took her phone out again, put her doughnut into her mouth, took a selfie and captioned it.

“ HOMEMADE DOUGHNUTS! THIS IS LIKE THE THIRD BEST THING TO HAPPEN TODAY!”

She hoped Penelope got what she meant by third best thing.

She didn’t have to wait long to find out, after eating her fair share of doughnuts she decided to make her way up to her bed so she could be more comfortable and when she reached her room she felt the vibrations in her pocket. She hopped onto her bed and took out her phone excitedly wondering what Penelope could have sent her.

“But what would 1st and 2nd best things be?”

Spinel was quite sure Penelope caught what she was throwing since she is a very intelligent girl. She responded almost immediately.

“Well, 2nd best is obviously the date and well I bet you can guess what number 1 is ;)”

“Oh I think I may have an idea ;)”

AAAAAAAAAH! She returned the wink, how can one person do these things to her, now she wasn’t sure how to respond though. But before she could ponder that any more another message two consecutive messages popped up.

“Wish I could talk more but it’s getting late” “Good night Spinel”

“Good night Penelope”

Sleep might not be such a bad idea actually.

* * *

  
  


_ Spinel woke up sprawled across a way too expensive bed for her. Because one, she her back didn’t feel like shit upon waking up, and two it was an actual bed, her own bed somehow got a fuck ton of dead rats inside of it and so she had to throw it away. Next to her laid a small girl with short blue hair ‘What the fuck was her name agian? Aqua-bitch?’ eh probably, it’s not like it mattered though, just another one-night stand with some random girl who might lose a few possessions through unknown means upon Spinel leaving. She got up from the bed and looked out the window for a second, it was mid day most likely around 3 or 4, not like the time in which she woke up mattered. She grabbed her clothes, put them on and headed out whilst making sure to only steal the things the small girl wouldn’t notice gone until days or weeks later, and at that point she would most likely assume that she misplaced them. _

_ As she left the house she surveyed where she was, part of her hoping that she had pulled a ‘Hangover’ and ended up in a totally different country or at the very least a different State, but no, not only was she still in the USA, and not only was she still in Keystone, she was still in the god forsaken town of ‘fuck nowhere’ filled with ‘fuck all’ and shitty people. She still doesn’t get why she hasn’t left this damn town, maybe part of her still thinks Mama is coming back, maybe part of her thinks that her fucking mom wasn’t a horrible excuse for a human being ‘like mother like daughter I guess’. She has been here alone so long that she doesn’t even remember how old she is, maybe if she didn’t spend most of her early years wondering when Mama was coming back, she would have paid some attention to dates and what not, she’s so fucked that she doesn’t even know how old she is, she just goes by 26 just because that’s the easiest for her to pass as. _

_ She walked down the sidewalk to her house, she couldn’t really call it home judging by how much time she spends drinking, fucking stranger and commiting various crimes outside of the house. As she walked she saw a plethora of things any normal person would find disturbing but this was part of her daily routine so it didn’t matter to her. She saw a guy passed out in the middle of the road with a bloody knife in his hand, she saw a pair fucking in one of the many abandonded buildings, she saw some guy jerking it to the pair who were fucking, she saw a dead cat and some dead birds, need less to say, this place is fucked up that’s why it deserves her. _

_ She made it to her house and realized it was unlocked, despite being a horrible person she wasn’t an idiot, she wouldn’t forget to lock her door, so someone had broken into her house. Fucking fantastic. She reached for her hand gun, it was moments like this where she was damn happy that she accidentally beat up the only cop she’s ever met and stole his gun, she crept in making sure she looked in every crevice to make sure she wouldn’t be ambushed. She silently walked through until she heard a very silent but scared breathing, ‘Bingo’ the breathing was coming from behind her couch so she aimed her hand gun at the part where the breathing seemed to be coming from and without hesitation pressed down on the trigger. _

_ Screaming. _

* * *

Spinel rose up from her bed in a cold sweat, almost letting out a scream.  _ A memory _ a fucked up one at that. She really wasn’t planning on remembering the shit she did in such graphic details, but life hates her so it happened anyway.

She looked at her phone to see that it was 4 in the morning her mind wasn’t functioning well so she thought it’d be a good idea to message Penelope a simple message.

“I’m horrible”

She almost threw her phone across her room. She put her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. She started sobbing silently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So during the dream sequence we are treated to a memory of Spinel, where she wakes up in another persons house due to a one night stand and steals some of her stuff, I reveal that Spinel was abandoned by someone she refers to as Mama, I reveal that Spinel isn't sure of her actual age so she just goes by 26, we see that the town she lives in is almost like a mad max style town, she sees a lot of messed up stuff as she walks through the town, when she gets back to her house she sees that the door is unlocked, she goes in cautiously with her gun and finds out that the intruder is behind her couch, with out hesitation she shoots the person killing them.   
Sorry stuff got a little edgy, that wont be happening that much so don't worry.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some people asked about Spinel's age in the last chapter  
let's just say they're closer than you think

Pink woke up from a bad dream, she couldn’t recall what the dream was about but she knew it was something she’s happy to have forgotten, however it wasn’t necessarily something that happened in the dream that woke her up, it was a small vibration from beside her. She looked down to her side to see her phone screen lit up showing that she had just received a notification which confused Pink since she had disabled notification for everything except her messenger app but who could be messaging her at this hour, well, she wasn’t sure of the time but it looked dark outside so she assumed that it was still late.

Pink picked up her phone as she rubbed her eyes, she glanced at the time, which said that it was 4 in the morning, before seeing who sent her a message. What she saw wasn’t really a surprise to her, Spinel clearly doesn’t get a lot of sleep already thus the fact that she would be up at 4 made sense so she didn’t give it a second thought. But what she saw when she opened the message made her heart stop.

“I’m horrible”

How can 10 letters elicit such an emotional reaction from Pink? Why would Spinel say that? Is this about what happened during the date? Was it something else? She wasn’t sure about any of these questions but she knew she had to act fast, if Spinel was feeling like this at such an hour, that would mean she’s most likely dealing with it alone and she just can’t have that. So quickly she tried to think of the best response, she knows that when people feel like this about themselves they can be very adamant about that fact so contradicting her won’t do any good, it’s better to let those people vent and talk about why they feel that way so they can get it out of their system.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Pink sat there waiting for a reply, she felt obligated to help Spinel, she wasn’t sure what it was but it was most likely just the fact that she likes Spinel a lot and as such doesn’t like the knowledge that she is sad about one thing or another. An entire hour went by and she still hadn’t received a message back yet and Pink was sitting with her phone pressed to her face patiently waiting, it wasn’t until 5 30 that she got her answer.

“ccan wee meet on ssatturday at the ppark from yesterdday?”

Pink sighed a sigh of relief, judging by the double lettering Spinel she was crying most likely crying, but at least she answered.

“Sure, around 12 sound okay?”

“Yah sure”

“Do you want me to call you now?”

“Can we video chat?”

“If it makes you feel better”

She knew why Spinel wanted to video chat, and her reason was quite simple, she wanted to see Pink, though in the back of her mind she still couldn’t believe that someone would feel like that for her, she knew this due to the fact that she really wanted to see Spinel as well mostly to make sure she’s fine, but Pink knows she’s not fine so her job right now is to make sure that she becomes slightly more fine.

She calls Spinel and she almost immediately answers, her video loads for a second before showing the face of the magenta haired clown red eyes and disheveled hair, the sight broke Pink’s heart, to see Spinel like that, knowing that she’s been dealing with this for more than an hour all alone. When Pink sees Spinel like this, her motherly instincts kick in making her just want to run up to Spinel and hug her and tell her that everything is going to be okay, that she’s safe with her. Pink gives Spinel a soft smile, trying to hide her worry. “Hi Spinel.” she said in a soft voice making sure that Spinel feels safe with her.

“H-hi P-p-pe-p-” oh if Pink’s heart was broken before now it’s shattered into a million pecies, the sadness evident in Spinel’s voice makes a chill run down her spine.

Pink raises her hand to stop Spinel “It’s alright, if you don’t want to speak then you don’t have to , okay?” Spinel nods rubbing away her tears. Pink thought for a few seconds about what to say next, if Spinel is having a hard time speaking then she is going to have to carry the conversation, she should talk about something easily digestible as to steer Spinel’s mind away from whatever was bothering her, like what happened after Pink got home. “Do you want me to talk about what happened when I got home?”

“I-i-i just wa-wanted t-to s-see and he-hear you t-talk, s-so an-anythinng’s f-fine” Pink smiled at her statement.

“Well alright” she began placing her phone down so it’s supported by her pillow “When I got home I assumed I would find Yellow and Blue making out on the couch or something” the last part earned a small but short lived smile from Spinel which means Pink was doing her job right “but instead, when I enter, I see my friend Pearl and a large Pink haired lady” at the mention of Pearl Spinel looks up.

“You know Pearl?” It seemed that Spinel’s interest was piqued, seeming like she had completely forgotten about whatever was troubling her.

“Yeah, she did say that she knew you.” After it became like Spinel never had any trouble speaking to begin with, they talked about their experiences with Steven and the rest of ‘The Crystal Gems’ as they like to call themselves, Pink learning that the couple from the café were official members of ‘The Crystal Gems’, Pink only really knew Steven, Pearl, Garnet, Amethyst, Ruby and Sapphire, but it seemed that there were plenty more that she had no knowledge of. They kept talking until sunrise when it was almost 7:30 but Pink didn’t care about that, she only cared that she was able to help Spinel.

* * *

  
  


Saturday came and so came the nerves. Pink really wanted to help Spinel as much as possible so evidently she became scared of messing up. There was something that made Spinel feel like she’s a horrible person which couldn’t be further from the truth from what Pink had seen, it could just be her depression being, well, depression, but somewhere in the back of Pinks mind she had a feeling that it was something more.

She got herself ready, she put on a Pink long sleeved shirt, since it was starting to get cooler outside, a pair of regular jeans and a pair of black sneakers. She did her hair, picked up her purse and started walking towards the park, she messaged Spinel to remind her that she was on her way and got a simple ‘K.’ back. The walk would have been rather pleasant if it weren’t for the looming fear that she won’t be able to help Spinel, that she’ll only make it worse, she quickly made sure to store away those thoughts, her own feelings weren’t what was important at the moment, what was important was Spinel. After stowing away all her malignant thoughts, she walked towards the park like she was on a mission which she was, the mission to stop a cute clown girl from thinking that she’s a bad person.

Once she had arrived at the park she found Spinel sitting on the same bench they had been only 2 days ago, hugging her legs close to her chest, she was wearing the same thing she wore during their date yet a lot more disheveled and wrinkly. Pink walked towards Spinel slowly as to not startle her, she noticed Pink before she had gotten to the bench however so she seemed to quickly try and straighten herself.

Pink sighed “May I sit down?” Spinel just nodded. Pink took a second to examine the woman next to her, she really looked like she had been hit by a truck, her clothes were extremely disheveled and it looked like she hadn’t taken them off since their date, her hair was another story entirely, her normally ever present pigtails she was seen wearing were both gone and so Pink could see her hair in it’s complete glory, despite it’s disheveled appearance her hair was very pretty. Pink finally looked to her face, the black mascara was gone and replaced with dark eye bags and the redness of her aforementioned eyes.

“S-s-so” Pink snapped away from examining Spinel to the task at hand “d-do you want m-me to tell you ev-everything?”

Pink sighed, “If you don’t want to tell me anything then you don’t have to, I want to help you not make you uncomfortable.”

“My feelings shouldn’t matter!” Spinel practically snapped “It wouldn’t be fair to you to hide my past, to hide the stuff I’ve done” Tears started forming in her eyes as she spoke “But if I tell you, then you’ll never want to hang out with me again!”

Pink sighed and put a hand on Spinel’s shoulder “Tell me everything you’re comfortable with telling me okay?” she paused for a second “and I promise you, no matter what you tell me, I’ll still like you”

Spinel took a deep breath “Okay” she began “when I was very little my mama abandoned me, left me to fend for myself in a town of criminals and crazy people” Pink already felt her heart break into tiny pieces again “Mama said she would return but, as you can most likely guess, she never came, so I had to do anything in order to survive, I had to steal, I had to hurt people and I had to” she took a long pause, almost like she forgot how to breath, before taking another deep breath as if readying herself for whatever reaction Pink might have to what she’s about to say “and I had to kill”.

Pink sighed for the third time “If you had to th-”

“That was just what it fucking started out as!” Pink flinched at her sudden outburst “At first I just killed in self defence, but soon I started wanting to hurt people, I started killing even though no one needed to get hurt, I fucking asaulted a guy for looking at me the wrong way! Granted I was drunk but still!” Spinel had tears running down her cheeks again and it looked like she would continue with her rant any second now, so Pink did the only thing she could think of, she hugged Spinel “w-what?” she calmed down completely at Pink’s touch.

“Spinel” she made her voice soft as she whispered into the clown’s ear “do you regret doing those things?” 

“Of course I do!”

“And are you still the same person as you were then?”

“I-I uh I-” 

Pink retracted from the hug as to be face to face with Spinel, she cupped her cheek and looked right into Spinel’s eyes “because the person I met on Thursday was not a hurtful and dangerous person” she leaned in closer to Spinel “in fact the person I met that day was a wonderful person who cares about others so deeply that she was beating herself up over making someone worry slightly, a person who never failed to make me laugh, who’s own laugh was the most beautiful sound I’d ever heard” they were so close at this point that their noses were almost touching “and I remember later that day that me and that girl, we did something I would really like to do again.” Her head was now moving towards Spinel’s lips “could you help me with that?” and at that Spinel moved the rest of the distance between them so their lips could connect.

This kiss was nothing like their first one. Their first came fast but lasted long whilst this one had more build up and didn’t come as abruptly but it lasted only a few seconds. Even so it was just as incredible, the warm feeling on her lips still made her heart do flips, the feel of Spinel’s touch still made her entire body tingle. She was at first saddened as they disconnected but her mind went away from that as they heard a loud “YOU GO GIRL!” from another part of the park. She looked up to see none other than Amethyst standing not too far away. “Don’t worry I’ll leave you two love birds alone” she shouted a little quieter as she walked off.

Pink looked on with surprise and confusion “Why was she even here?”

Spinel snorted “Probably spying for Steven or something” that made the two of them get into a small laughing fit, “Maybe we shouldn’t be making out in the middle of a public park” Spinel said as her laughter died down a bit.

Pink continued laughing for a few seconds “yeah, maybe” she smiled at Spinel.

It looked like Spinel was in deep thought for a second “there is this hill near Beach city with a wonderful view, though it is, like 2 hours away by car”

“Yellow has a car” Pink stated

“Will she allow you to borrow it?”

“She can be bribed”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lotsa exposition for y'all

Spinel was being dragged forward by the pink haired girl in front of her, she was taking her to her house to borrow  _ Yellow’s _ , as Penelope called her, car so they could make their way to the hill that Spinel suggested as a nice spot to, oh lord she can’t believe this is a serious thought she is having,  _ make out _ , just that thought alone made her heart flutter, to have the privilege of even being able to touch Penelope was already making her unabashedly happy but to kiss her several times in such a short period of time was unreal, not like she was complaining. The two of them got to their destination, Penelope’s house.

”I’ll be quick” Penelope said to her before shocking Spinel by giving her a light smooch on her cheek, Spinel just stared as her date ran into her house, she reached up to touch where Penelope kissed her it somehow felt just as good as their long drawn out kiss during their previous date, she might understand why though it’s a strange explanation, the smooch was casual and done with very little thought so that means that, to Penelope, kissing wasn’t some grand show of affection, it was something casual between the two of them and only them, that made Spinel feel special.

As Penelope walked out of her house with the keys to, what she assumes to be, Yellow’s car, Spinel caught a glance of one of the windows where two ladies were staring at her, one blonde with a scrutinising look, whom she assumed to be Yellow, and one blunette giving her a thumbs up and a warm smile, whom she assumed to be Blue.

”You ready?” Penelope’s voice made her look away from her date’s housemates and turn her attention to the date in question. She wore a cute smile that made Spinel melt from the inside, she knows that she would normally be questioning why someone like Penelope would involve herself with someone like Spinel, but at that moment everything felt right in the world, like this was meant to be, no matter how much her mind says otherwise.

”I sure am!” Spinel wasn’t sure if she was, even though the two of them had kissed before it was never something premeditated, it always just happened without forethought but this time they are going to a place with the expressed purpose of making out, of course the idea made her ecstatic but also scared she might mess up or go to far, like, like,  _ you know what? I’ll cross that bridge once I get there _ .

The two entered the car and there was a thought that crossed Spinel’s mind  _ I didn’t tell her the whole truth did I? _ Penelope deserved to know everything about her past, she deserved to know where she came from. ”Hey Penelope?”

”Yeah” she obviously didn’t remove her eyes from the roads but her attention was clearly given to Spinel.

”I feel I should tell you something” her mind was going overtime to try and formulate this without breaking down ”the person I referred to as Mama” oh fuck, don’t fucking cry now ”was Sakura Diamond or, as most people knew her, Pink Diamond”

Penelope froze at that, her body went stiff her face seemed horrified at the revelation until her face warped and she started laughing.  _ L-laughing? _

”W-What’s so funny? Do you not believe me?” Of course she didn’t, who would believe that she was owned by one of the world's most infamous gangsters, she was being stupid.

”No, no I’m laughing  _ because _ I believe you.” Spinel’s confusion must have been palpable since Penelope kept going almost immediately. ”I was planning on telling you something as well, that thing being, I used to be Sakura Diamond’s pearl” 

….

”WHAT!?” How was that possible?! ”Wasn’t Pearl her, um, Pearl” It really was strange how Pearl used the same name as her title used to be.

”She was, but I was before her, she replaced me” Penelope’s smile faded ”I was apparently  _ too friendly _ with Sakura” 

”Wait.” She waved her hands frantically ”Didn’t the Diamonds use to k-kill those who stepped out of line?”

”Yeah, but  _ white _ ” the witrial she said White with was almost palpable ”wanted to punish Sakura even more so she,” there was hesitation in her voice as she looked forward ” _ repurposed  _ me” 

Spinel shuddered at what that could mean but despite that she still asked ”w-what does that mean?”

Penelope said nothing as they approached a hill which she then drove up on as per Spinel’s instructions. As they got near the edge she stopped the car and sat there. They sat in a deathly silence for what felt like hours before Penelope finally spoke up ”I was given, these drugs” her voice was strained as if she was to the point of crying ”They took away my free will, made completely subservient to  _ white _ ” there was anger in her voice now though it would seem that her tears were forming quicker ”for twenty  _ FUCKING _ years, I had no free will, she took away twenty years of my life because I was too fucking friendly!”

_ Why didn’t mother tell me?  _ ”Why didn’t mother tell me?” She didn’t realize she was talking aloud but she didn’t care ”She knows that I know about her past actions, did she think I couldn’t fucking handel it!”

”What do you mean mother?”

It was at that point where Spinel realized she had said all of that out loud ”uh” she wasn’t sure how to approach this with everything that’s being revealed all at once ”you know my three adoptive moms?” Penelope nodded with a slightly horrified look on her face ”yeah happen to be” she paused ”therhreeramainingdiamondsImsorry!” She shouted the entire thing as she made herself into a ball in her seat.

”Spinel..” Penelope reached for her. She’s going to end this date. She’s going to tell her to never contact her again. Penelope hates her now, why wouldn’t she? She knew this wasn’t going to last, she was just being selfish as always! She doesn’t deserve happiness. ”Do they hurt you?”

…….

_ What? _

Spinel looked at her date with a very confused look plastered on her face ”huh?”

There was a fire in Penelope’s eyes that Spinel has never seen before ”Do. They. Hurt. You?”

”N-no! Of course not. Why would you say that?” 

”That’s something they would do”

”B-but not anymore!” She doesn’t understand why she feels the need to defend them, they did lie to her ”they might not be perfect but they’re changing for the better” 

Penelope crossed her arms and huffed ”I have a hard time believing that” Spinel wanted to retort but Penelope beat her to the punch ”especially since they lied to you about me” it was there when the water works went into overdrive, she was right, they would never hurt her but they fucking lied, why? Why would they lie? She felt the car door beside her open and when she moved her head to glance at the door she saw Penelope who was kneeling in front of her ”Hey do you want to get out of the car? there’s a pretty nice view here.” She nodded and let her date lead her to the top of the hill, they sat down and Penelope pulled her close as they looked over the ocean. The sun was about to set so the orange light covered the sky making it even more beautiful. But that wasn’t what Spinel was looking at, behind her tears she saw how the orange light reflected in her hair, how surprisingly elegant her eyepatch fit over her face, how well her clothes fit over her thin body. ”Beautiful isn’t it”

”I wouldn’t call you an it” she spoke before she could stop herself.

Penelope looked at her a blush spreading across both their faces before she laughed ”Have I ever told you that you’re adorable?”

”You may have” she got onto Penelope’s lap facing the taller lady ”But you’re cuter” she bopped her nose.

”Let’s agree to disagree” she gave Spinel a peck on the nose making Spinel giggle, but Penelope’s smile dropped ”uh, Spinel?” 

”Yeah?” She tilted her head to the side.

”Do you want me to drive you home after this?”

Spinel flinched at the question, she really didn’t want to go home after they lied to her like that ”could. Could I sleep at your place?”

Penelope ran her fingers through her hair ”of course you can”

Spinel grinned at her, her what, her date? Is this even a date? Her partner? Her girlfriend? That thought made Spinel blush hard, Penelope being her girlfriend, are they there yet in their relationship? She wasn’t sure since she’s never had a girlfriend before just one night stands, has Penelope ever had a girlfriend? Should she ask?

Before she could think about that anymore Penelope spoke up ”Was I your first? Kiss that is.”

Spinel blinked ”oh, no, I had a bunch of one night stands during my time in keystone, nothing as amazing as kissing you though.” Penelope looked away mumbling ’one night stand’ in a disappointed voice ”wait” the realization hit her like a truck ”You wanted to be the one to deflower me?!”

”I! Uh, i wouldn’t.” Penelope was really flustered ”no, I mean! I-I” she sighed,'' Yes, I just wanted it to be, you know, special?”

“Awww” Penelope can really be adorable sometimes “It would be with you, so of course it’d be special” It took her a second to realize yet another thing that Penelope implied through her words “Wait, are you asking if I wanted to have sex now?”

“Maybe kinda I don’t know if you’re okay with it, yes” All that came out in a flurry with no space in between the words, Penelope was red like a tomato at this point. Penelope seemed to be trying to say something else but Spinel didn’t let her before she pounced, pushing both of them onto the grass, giving Penelope a bunch of kisses all over her face and neck. “Hey not fair!” Penelope started squirming in Spinel’s hold.

“All’s fair in love and w-” Spinel was interrupted when she made a soft moan upon the feeling of Penelope biting the base of her neck.

They stared at each other for a few seconds before a grin grew on the taller girls face “So you have a soft spot?” Spinel blushed furiously making Penelope used that opportunity to get an upper hand by getting Spinel under her and started abusing her soft spot whilst also looking for more.

“ARGH!” she shouted as she was pushed against the grass “You-” she moaned from Penelope’s barrage of calculated kisses and bites “bass-” another moan escaped her mouth “-tard” the anslaut continued and at one point Penelope had pulled up Spinel’s shirt and started tickling her. She could feel those cold hands move up her body, the tingeling inside of her wouldn’t stop, she felt an indefinable euphoria spread across her entire body and they were still on the foreplay stage. Though after kissing for a while she realized something that was very important, she didn’t want to get grass in her hair. “H-hey P-Penelop-pe?” she tried to say as she was fighting back the moans Penelope stopped and looked at her “maybe we should finish this in the car?”

Penelope looked like she was contemplating this “Yellow did say , and I quote, ‘ _ Don’t fuck in my car _ ’”

“She won’t notice” Spinel reassures, so that’s what they did.

* * *

  
  


They were walking towards the front door of Penelope’s house looking sweaty and disheveled but very happy about it. Penelope unlocked the door and when she opened it they saw Yellow and Blue sitting on the couch. Yellow glanced up to greet them but stopped as she saw their fiqures.

“DID YOU TWO FUCK IN MY CAR?!”

Spinel merely squinted her eyes at Yellow and quietly said “perhaps” making both Penelope and Blue giggle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can tell I'm not very good at writing sexy time


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to blame my lack of posting on school n' shit, so I wouldn't have to take accountability, but no, it's all because I'm a lazy fuck  
sry

Pink woke up with something warm and soft in her arms, not like her blanket or pillow which she would often fall asleep hugging, something that she would never admit to doing, she was hugging something that felt suspiciously like a person. She opened her eyes to see magenta hair covering most of her sight, she moved her eyes and head to get a better look at what she was holding.  _ Spinel… _ everything that happened last night came back to her like a truck, Spinel’s soft lips on her own, the way her partner moaned at her touch, the feeling of Spinel touching every inch of her body. Last night truly was a night to remember and now the person that took her virginity was laying in Pink’s arms like there’s nothing wrong in the world and at that moment it really felt like that was the case. She scooted her way closer to Spinel, she hardened her grip on her, her what? She called her partner but is that what they are? Partners? It certainly felt like that but does Spinel feel the same? She knows that this shouldn’t really be an argument to be having with herself, it should be obvious what their relationship was, they literally had sex last night. But what if Pink is like all those one night stands Spinel said she had? No, she said that Pink was different, Pink wasn’t like the others, right?

As her mind wandered she hadn’t realized her breathing started to pick up and her grip on Spinel get harder, she only got kicked out of her thoughts when she felt Spinel turn in her arms facing Pink. Spinel yawned and it was the most adorable thing to ever be witnessed on the face of the earth “wa’s wrong PP?”

“Noth- wait” maybe it was her waking up extremely early, but she could’ve sworn Spinel just called her PP “Did you just call me PP?”

Spinel blinked tiredly at Pink for a few seconds “huh” she rubbed her eyes before scooting up to Pink’s chest “I guess I did” 

Pink began giggling “Oh Spinel,” she managed to say through her giggles “your cuteness is going to be the death of me one day” 

Spinel made a fake tired gasp “oh no, I need to stop being cute, I wouldn’t want you to die.” she yawned that cute yawn again as Pink laughed “But seriously what’s wrong?”

Pink sighed “I- What are we?”

Spinel seemed to be consider Pink’s question for a second before asking “What’s a fancy word for humans?”

“Homo sapien”

Spinel giggled like a little child “well, we certainly are homo”

Pink pouted at Spinel “You know what I meant”

Spinel kept giggling which just made it impossible for Pink to even pretend to be mad at her, she feels like a broken record at this point since her mind just keeps reminding her that Spinel’s laugh was absolutely melodic, like something you’d hear in a musical. Which was why when Spinel’s laugh seized she was sort of disappointed until Spinel opened her mouth to speak “Well, what do you want us to be?”

That was a hard question to answer, not because she didn’t have an answer, she knew she wanted Spinel to be her girlfriend Pink isn’t ashamed of that, but what if that’s stepping over some sort of boundary? what if Spinel didn’t want to feel trapped in a relationship with her? Pink knew that she shouldn’t doubt herself so much, Spinel asked her a question and she should answer honestly, that’s what Spinel deserved. “I” her mind was moving a mile a minute thinking of all the ways this could go wrong “I want us to be girlfriends”

At that Spinel lifted her head from Pink’s chest staring deeply into her eyes, before Pink could ponder what this means Spinel leaned forward and gave Pink a peck on her pointed nose “Me too”she said before shoving her head back into Pink’s chest, at any point before this Pink would have become flustered at Spinel’s kiss and agreement, she would have felt like this was a dream that she would wake up from any second now, though that lingering doubt still makes itself known from time to time, now Pink felt simply at ease by Spinel’s declaration, Pink felt at ease by her  _ girlfriend’s _ declaration.

Pink felt a low grumble in her stomach and realized that they hadn’t eaten breakfast yet “Spinel” she poked her girlfriend on her chin to get her attention who made a low affirmative sound “We should probably get up and eat some breakfast”

Spinel’s grip on Pink seemed to tighten “Yeah, but that would mean I’d have to get away from you”

“Hmm, you do make a compelling argument but” Pink sat up pulling Spinel with her “I’ve got a solution” she grabbed onto her magenta haired girlfriend as she stood up carrying the smaller lady “I’ll carry you” Spinel didn’t seem to mind it she just wrapped her legs around Pink as she walked out of her room. They went down the stairs slowly since Pink didn’t want to drop Spinel by accident, when they made their way to the kitchen Pink found Blue and Yellow already wide awake making breakfast.

“Good morning” she greeted the two of them who subsequently looked her way and upon seeing them, they both got smug smiles on their faces which Pink responded to by blowing a raspberry their way as she sat down at the kitchen table laying Spinel down on her lap. 

After snickering at Pink and Spinel, Yellow and Blue got worried looks on their faces. Pink was about to ask what was wrong before Yellow decided to speak up. “The Diamonds called last night” Pink felt Spinel squirm slightly in her arms “and they asked about Spinel, I of course, asked how they knew Spinel” Pink started stroking Spinel’s hair softly to calm her down “and they said that she lives with them”

“If you’re asking whether or not I was aware, then you don’t have to worry, Spinel told me yesterday” she almost snapped, she felt like she needed to protect Spinel at all cost despite there not being anything to hurt her, she felt like Yellow was implying that Spinel had been lying to her and that thought made her irrationally angry.

Yellow seemed slightly taken aback by her shift in attitude but recovered quickly “That’s good but I believe they ought to know how long Spinel will be staying here, no?”

Pink sighed and looked down at her girlfriend “she, um”

“I don’t want to go back, at least not for now” Spinel’s voice startled Pink as she interrupted her, she sounded desperate but angry as her head laid on her chest. “They lied to me about Penelope”

“Oh” was all the response Yellow gave to Spinel’s statement.

Blue, sensing the start of an awkward silence chimed in before it could get too awkward, “Well if you are going to be staying here, me and Yellow can go get your stuff from the diamonds if you want.”

Spinel stared at Blue as if she had just given her a million dollars “You would do that? For me?” Pink could see the flurry of emotions go through Spinels head, she clearly still isn’t used to anyone other than the Diamonds being nice to her so for Blue offer something like that must mean the world to her.

Blue gave Spinel a soft smile “Of course we would, any  _ friend _ of Pink is a friend of ours” the way Blue said the first ‘friend’ implied something more which definitely didn’t make a prideful grin spread across Pink’s face, no siree.

“Well” Yellow clapped her hands together “if that’s settled then I should probably get out and call Blaine and inform her of your extended stay” Yellow went out the door with Blue following after her.

Pink looked to the stove where Blue and Yellow had been making eggs and bacon and saw that they had placed down two plates next to it, probably for Blue and Yellow but it’s their fault for leaving before eating. Pink got up to grab the plates for her and Spinel with a small amount of effort due to her still carrying her girlfriend,  _ the things I do for love _ . She sat the plates down in front of them on the table.

She nudged Spinel after she had sat down “Spinel~” she sing-songed in a soft tone “Breakfast’s ready~” Spinel merely squirmed in her arms “you’re a big girl now, you can feed yourself, or am I going to have to do it for you?”

“I need help due to the baby” Spinel’s clearly awake voice answered.

“What baby?”

“Me”

Pink giggled “Fine then” she grabbed a fork and took some scrambled eggs and a small piece of bacon on its tines. She then held the fork in front of her girlfriend “Open wide~” Spinel did as such and Pink laid the fork down in Spinel’s mouth where she promptly closed it so Pink pulled the fork back. Spinel looked up at Pink with stars in her eyes as she chewed, Pink chuckled at the cute gesture “That tasty?”

Spinel shook her head as she swallowed “Not really, but I think,” Spinel looked down clearly thinking about something intently which was also really cute “I think I want you to feed me all the time now”

Pink was sure stars had formed in her eye at Spinels declaration, such a simple statement made Pink almost fall over. She took a few seconds to compose herself after Spinels statement, she smiled softly after gaining back her composure “Only when we’re alone lil lady” she gave Spinel a peck on her nose.

Spinel crossed her arms and pouted “fine” they stared at each other for a second “you need to eat as well”

“Do you want to feed me?” Pink wasn’t exactly sure if this was romantic; if feeding your girlfriend is considered to be a romantic gesture or not, but she enjoyed how cute Spinel was when she did it so she at the very least wanted to offer the same experience to her.

Now it was Spinel’s turn to give her a peck on the nose “If I can’t feed myself, how would you expect me to feed you?”

_ Yep, this girl is definitely going to be the death of me _ Spinel has absolutely no right to be so cute, how can she be so good at making Pink just lose it? “I-I guess you’re right” she even stuttered due to her girlfriend’s logic defying cuteness.

They kept going like that, Pink feeding Spinel then herself giving each other pecks and kisses periodically throughout, each time she would give Spinel her eggs and bacon she would admire how adorable she is, at this point her brain is a broken record repeating the same few things over and over  _ Spinel is so cute _ ,  _ How can she make me feel this way?  _ And stuff to that extent, but Pink really can’t blame herself, she has the cutest girlfriend anyone could ask for and she was all hers. No one else got to feed her this way, no one else got to be this close to her for extended periods of time, not a single soul got to hear Spinel whisper sweet nothings into her ears as they ate. Only Pink got to experience that and that made her feel like she’s never felt before, a feeling that she has never caught in her 42 years of existence, though she should say 22 years since 20 of those years were spent completely mindless. This feeling felt utterly incredible the only feeling that compared was the feeling of Spinel’s lips on hers, the name of the feeling was something she was not allowed to associate with herself.

  
She felt  _ confident _ .


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, just like last time I don't have an excuse I'm just a lazy procrastinator.
> 
> I barely read through my chapters before posting so if there are any plot holes or grammar errors point them out please -( ]:)

They had somehow made their way to the couch ditching their empty plates on the table in favor of making out on the soft couch placed in the living room, which made them getting their even more confusing since the kitchen which doubles as a dining room was connected to the living room by another room, a second dining room. That did not occur to Spinel and probably not Penelope either since the two of them were connected by their mouths and would only separate to breathe, or to kiss another part of their partners body. They wanted to go farther, at least, Spinel really did, and the two of them were even starting to take off each others clothes, but all good things must come to an end. They didn’t hear her enter the house, they didn’t hear her approaching the only thing they did hear was her loud shrill voice.

“DON’T FUCK ON THE COUCH!” Spinel and Penelope both yelped and fell off said couch.

“HEY!” Spinel shouted back “We were just getting to the good part!” Making Penelope and Blue, who had entered with Yellow, chuckle.

“Then why don’t you fuck in your own room!?”

“Maybe we will!” Spinel rose from the ground and picked Penelope off the ground bridle style and started walking to their room.

“Clown! You need to bring your stuff with you, we’re not doing it for you!”

“Well how am I supposed to do that when I’m carrying PP?” She lifted Penelope up as a way of gesturing to her girlfriend.

“You could put her d-” Yellow paused “Did you just just fucking call her PP!?” Yellow asked but Spinel had already run up the stairs before Yellow could finish her question.

Spinel could hear Yellow’s loud groan as she entered Penelope’s bedroom. She placed her girlfriend down on their bed gently, she leaned down to bed level “I actually do need to get my stuff, but you can just lie here whilst I go retrieve the shiz” she shot finger guns at Penelope as she moonwalked out of the room. As she turned around to the stairs, she could hear her one eyed girlfriend chuckle at her antics, even after having heard her laugh several times, the sound made her heart flutter each and every single time she heard it.

As she reached the end of the stairs Spinel saw Yellow looking very perturbed tapping her foot on the ground with her arms crossed and three letters in her right hand, next to her stood 2 suitcases.

“Is- Is that my stuff?” She asked pointing to the aforementioned suitcases.

“Yeah, your moms said that they wanted you to be as comfortable as possible here” Yellow said as she stopped tapping her foot.

“Wait” Spinel stopped “My moms packed all this?”

Yellow rose an eyebrow at Spinel “Did ya think me and Blue did it?”

“N-no, I just didn-” Spinel let out a sigh “nevermind” Spinel looked back to Yellows hands and pointed at the letters “what are those?”

Yellow lifted the letter in front of her “Your moms wanted me to give these to you, I think they’re like apology letters or something like that”

Spinel took the letters and realized, upon closer inspection, that one of them was slightly wrinkled and had small wet spots on it, Spinel assumed that one must have been from Doli since according to Blaine and Bianca she had a tendency to cry a lot when she was sad though she’d never witnessed her this in her short time living with the three of them. Spinel looked away from the letters to thank Yellow for getting her stuff but she had already left.

She dragged the suitcases up the stairs to Penelope’s room with quite a bit of effort, she even had to hold the letters in her mouth so as not to drop them. She kicked open the door and the sight before her made her drop the letters from her mouth.

In front of her, lying on the bed in a seductive pose, Penelope was wearing hot pink lingerie, she was even wearing a heart-shaped eyepatch. At the sight Spinel felt a flurry of emotions in a split second, first she felt surprised at how unexpected it was, particularly for Penelope, then she felt arousal because when your hot girlfriend is lying half naked in front of you, it is scientifically impossible for you to not feel aroused, unless you’re asexual but whatever. And the third and final emotion she felt after her mind got over her arousal, was embarrassment, she was planning on reading the letters with Penelope but it seems that her plan seems to intersect with Penelope’s plan to, well, fuck.

Spinel looked down on the letters and then back to her girlfriend,  _ eh, they can wait _ , she thought before jumping into bed with Penelope.

* * *

  
  


”Spinel” after their fun, Spinel had gotten up to unpack her stuff and she was pleasantly surprised with what her moms decided to pack for her, there was a lot of stuff however, so much of her stuff in fact that she could realistically just move in with PP, it was nice knowing her moms didn’t expect her to just forgive them, although a nagging feeling in the back of her mind was telling her that they were trying to guilt her into coming back, she didn’t want to believe it but she’s learned not to be too optimistic when it comes to her moms. ”Spinel~” She felt something creep down her spine at the way PP said her name she could barely even describe what way she said her name, it was seductive but it wasn’t harsh either, though Spinel couldn’t think of the right word to describe her girlfriend’s tone, she could turn around and answer PP which in hindsight was what she should have done in the first place instead of thinking of the way her voice sounded. Spinel turns on her heel seeing her girlfriends upper body mostly covered by the sheets but it was obvious that she was topless under those sheets. After having admired PP for a solid second Spinel noticed the three envelopes in PP’s hand “What are these? They don’t seem to have any names on them, or anything written for that matter.”

“Oh those” Spinel began rubbing her hand along her neck as she sat down “Yellow said their from my moms and that their some sort of apology letters or something” Spinel said with a defeated shrug.

Spinel’s change in tone definitely ruined the mood and she was probably going to beat herself up about that later but at that moment she could really bring herself to care. Spinel thought the silence would last forever until Penelope finally decided to break the silence “Do you want me to read the letters to you? I could even do impressions of your mothers if it would cheer you up.” it was the latter part of her offer that made Spinel perk up, looking at her girlfriend with a baffled expression before bursting out laughing to which PP gasped in offence “You think I can’t do good impressions?! How dare you?!”

Spinel, of course, kept laughing but she was able to get some words through her laughter “N-no, j-j-just the image of you with any of my moms voices i-is just too much.” with her explanation, PP’s face softened.

”You haven’t answered my question”

Spinel scooted next to PP with a wide grin ”Knock yourself out!” 

The one eyed lady sighed and grabbed one of the envelopes at random and tore it open. Inside was a black piece of folded paper which PP promptly unfolded revealing yellow writings ”So this must be Blaine”

Spinel looked at the paper, confused ”Why is it black?”

PP chuckled, ”Well, the diamonds used to always write in a specific colour, Blaine in yellow, Doli in Blue and Bianca in white, which is why the papers are black, so it’s actually possible to read Blaine and Bianca’s writing” Spinel made a small sound of understanding despite finding the whole concept very arbitrary and dumb. PP cleared her throat seemingly to ready her voice so as to do an impression of Mom ” _ Dearest Spinel _ ” she snorted at her impression, not because it was bad but because it was eerily good though it did sound more like Patti Lapone than Mom but Spinel had always thought they sounded familiar. ” _ It pains me that our actions have hurt you which was never our intention, we kept our ”relationship” with miss Penelope from you because we didn’t want you to see us as the monsters we are _ ” Spinel cringed at the wording, Penelope seemed to notice this and pulled her closer ” _ that being said, I will not be planning on excusing our lying, we promised Steven we would change our ways and yet it’s clear to me that we still have a long way to go before we could even claim to have changed _ -” Spinel was about to ask why PP stopped so suddenly until she felt something wet on her face  _ tears _ . ”Spinel are you alright?”

Spinel felt herself start to shake ”Th-th-they’re not m-m-monsters r-right?” 

”They did horrible things Spinel” was all Penelope answered.

”But they’ve changed!!” She snapped tears still streaming down her face ”I’m not w-willing to forgive them yet a-and you don’t have to forgive them at all, but, but-” Penelope stopped her by giving her a tight hug letting her sob into her shoulder.

”We can take a break from reading if you want”

Spinel sniffled ”n-no, continue, and keep doing the voice, please.”

Despite everything, that made Penelope smile ” _ Despite our lack of change we will keep trying. Spinel I love you and will never stop loving you so please, stay safe. _ ”

* * *

  
  


After Pink had read the last part she started hearing a soft snoring from Spinel which was super adorable but it made her think about what time it was. She turned her head towards her phone which showed in bright numbers that it was 15:30, she had no idea where all those hours went but couldn’t get herself to care, Spinel needed sleep even if it’s the middle of the day. She looked down on the black piece of paper in her hand and noticed something, there was a part of the paper she hadn’t unfolded, she proceeded to unfold the paper fully expecting to see more apologise for Spinel, what she didn’t expect was a message directed towards her.

_ And for miss Penelope, it is clear to me that Spinel loves you greatly and she trusts you just as much, I want you to know that the two of you have all my support in your relationship, this would usually be the point where any other mother would threaten you if you were to ever hurt my daughter and make no mistake about it, we will ruin you if you hurt our darling Spinel, but trust Spinel and if she trusts you then we will as well. And as a final request to you, take care of her, please. _

_ \- Blaine Diamond <> _

Pink wasn’t sure what to think of Blaine’s blessing, she didn’t really care if any of Spinel’s mothers supported her relationship because she didn’t expect to get it but now that she has it she feels like she could actually face the diamonds other than Bianca of course, maybe she could actually have a healthy relationship with her girlfriend’s parents, that would be nice. She will never forgive them but she could at the very least be civil with them, except for Bianca.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the door to her room opening and Yellow’s head poking through the door “Hey, we’re ordering pizza what do you want on yours?”

“I ...want the...meat” Pink heard Spinel mumble in her arms.

Yellow looked at Pink blushing at their display “uh, Same as her I guess”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh, I’m not in fact dead, though I wouldn’t describe myself as alive either, I didn’t suffer from any sort of injury and I’m not at the hospital, I’m just mentally dead.  
Anyway enjoy!  
TW: suicidal thoughts!

_ Dearest Spinel _

_ I write to you wanting to apologize for our neglect and our selfishness. You may have already figured this out, but a large part of the reason we adopted you, was as a replacement for Sakura, and for that I cannot apologize more, we were guided by a selfish need to replace a person who is long gone and who hurt you. But none of this means that we do not love you, despite our initial reasons for adopting you we still love with all our hearts you for who you are. _

_ There isn’t much I can say to convince you to come back because that’s not what I’m doing, I, along with Blaine and Bianca, only want for you to be happy and if living with us would make you miserable then we would want nothing more than for you to move somewhere that makes you happier and if Penelope makes you happy then she has my gratitude. _

_\- Doli Diamond <>_

“Was that shorter than the last one?” Spinel asked as she took a bite of their Pizza. They were still sitting on their bed cuddled up close to one another, PP still being the one reading and doing her impressions, this time her impression was just as spot on as the last though this time she sounded more like Lisa Hannigan whom Spinel already thought sounded very similar to Mommy. 

PP merely shrugged at her question and proceeded to place the letter on the nightstand, that’s was when Spinel noticed something about the letter, it was smooth and dry, _ wasn’t there one that was messy and wet from tears? _ Then a second later, PP picked up the last letter which was in fact the one with all the tears, _ That doesn’t make any sense, I’ve never even seen Mother cry. _ Despite her confusion Spinel didn’t voice any of it, though she could tell PP was getting confused by it as well. As she opened the letter, Spinel noticed something else, the handwriting was incredibly sloppy and shaky, which she supposed made sense, but neither of her other moms had such bad handwriting.

PP was scanning the text to try and decipher it but she was clearly struggling, she spent another few seconds concentrating on the letter before letting out a loud sigh ”This is impossible to understand” she place the letter on her lap rubbing the bridge of her nose ”Like, from what I can remember, her handwriting has always been kinda iffy, but never this bad” Spinel had to agree, the letter was practically unreadable but they had to try.

She took the letter out of PP’s lap ”We can decipher it together, one word at a time.” Spinel said putting on the largest grin she could which made PP chuckle.

”Sure” PP scooted closer to Spinel.

Spinel looked down on the letter once more ”Alright, so the first word clearly says _ sorry _ th-”

”No? It clearly says _ spinel _ .” _ Huh? _

”What? How?” Spinel asked, her voice growing slightly louder.

PP pointed at the _ o _ in _ sorry _ ”That’s a _ p _, don’t you see the line right there?”

”That’s just a smudge” she responded, her frustration evident in her voice.

PP squinted at the letter that was clearly an _ o _ for a few seconds “I guess I can see that” Spinel puffs out her chest proudly for being right “But how do you see two _ r _’s?”

Spinel waves her hands at the paper “How the fuck do you not!?” Spinel’s hands immediately rose to cover her mouth the moment she heard herself “I-I, I’m s-s-s-s-sor-” Spinel tried to get out an apology as she started to sob. PP reached for her but Spinel jumped away from the bed and ran out of the room and into the closest bathroom. 

Only when she had locked the door behind her did she let her tears fall down like waterfalls. Her breathing started to quicken almost to the point of hyperventilation, but she really didn’t care, if she would start hyperventilating then she would deserve it. She is so much of a garbage person that she deserved everything bad that’s happened to her, how could she have raised her voice at PP like that? Because she is less than human, that’s why. She's a species of subhuman that feed off of being horrible to the people they claim to love. That would make sense with all the wretched shit she has done, she wouldn’t even be surprised if she became physically abusive to a lover, who would obviously not be PP since she most likely wants to break up with Spinel for being such a horrible bitch that no one could ever love. She was delusional to think that their relationship would last more than a few days, but she really outdid herself by ruining it within 24 hours of them becoming official _ Wow! What a good job you did Spinel! You deserve a fucking medel and a place in ”guinnes world records” for such an amazing fucking acheivement! Geeze, you should just kill yourself right here and now to rid the world of this plague you call a person! No, PP would have to clean up your body and you don’t want to be more of a burden than you already are. _

”Spinel” _ You would have to find a place where no one would find you to end your miserable existence you could just drop yourself into the ocean by jumping off broding hill _ ”Spinel” _ though, the risk of surviving would be too great, and you don’t want to be a pain on the poor sod who might find you, let alone how much your medical expenses is going to be a pain on everyone _ ”Spinel please!” _ Why do you have to be so retarded that you can’t even come up with a way to kill yourself with out being an absolute and utter pain on everyone aro-! _”SPINEL SNAP OUT OF IT!” Before her mind could climb any deeper into this pit of despair, the sound of her girlfriend’s, well, ex-girlfriend most likely now, voice jolted her back to reality.

In front of Spinel, past the cloud of tears in her eyes, sat PP tears clouding her one eye as well. Both of PP’s hands were holding onto yours like her life depended on it and for Spinel, she feels like her touch is the only thing keeping her on this mortal plane. Before Spinel knew it, she was deep in a crushing hug, PP’s slender arms wrapping around her slim body, all Spinel could do was sit there with her arms hovering not sure what to do, but as she was making a decision, PP started talking.

”Don’t _ ever _ do that again” she said her crying evident in her voice, _ of course she doesn’t want you to scream at her again _.

”I-I’m s-s-sorry for sc-screami-”

”Not that you idiot!” Spinel flinched slightly at PP raising her voice, _ then what was she mad about? _ ”You were just sitting here crying and hyperventilating behind a locked door” PP started, not giving Spinel time to think ”when I knocked you wouldn’t respond, so I tried to pick the lock but my shaking through my crying prevented that so I had to get Yellow to help me. Then, when I got in her you wouldn’t respond for several minutes” _ minutes? _

”S-sorry” Spinel let her arms drop to the ground as she felt defeated.

”And don’t apologize either” She said softly, her anger having died down ”I was just really stressed over your freak out, but that’s not your fault” 

Spinel wasn’t sure what to say, her self depreciation made her believe that PP would hate her for simply raising her voice slightly, so when it turned out that was not the case she didn’t have any words. So she did the first thing that came to mind; she reciprocated the hug.

They sat their just holding onto one another for a solid minute not even moving an inch for the duration of the tight hug right up to when they heard someone clear their throat from the door to the bathroom.

Spinel raised her head to look to the source of the sound whilst turned her head to do the same. Leaning on the door frame was Yellow who was holding the same black letter that had caused this whole thing to begin with. Actually, when Spinel thinks back to how her freak out had everything to do with them arguing over what the first word in that letter was, the whole situation seems kind of funny, not really laugh out loud funny, but more in the sense that to an outside observer the everything that occurred would appear to be rather ridiculous. “This is adorable and I would hate to interrupt your hug.” She began clearly not meaning a word she was saying “But I have to ask,” she lifted her arm that wasn’t holding the letter at the two of them “What caused _ this _?”

Spinel and PP looked at one another for a few seconds, not sure how to explain what happened due to the apparent absurdity of the situation. There were a few seconds of thinking on both of their parts and few words exchanged between the two before PP turned back to Yellow and promptly went through the events leading up to the freak out, beginning with them reading Mommy’s letter, then PP picking up Mother’s letter and trying to decipher it, which was followed by the two of them arguing over the first word which lead to Spinel raising her voice and running to the bathroom in shock.

After PP’s explanation Yellow just stood there squinting at them as if she was thinking over if their story was believable. After a few seconds of thinking Yellow groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose. “I truly do live with an entire circus of clowns” she mumbled.

“Whose ah cwown?” The voice of Blue came from yellows left, her mouth audibly filled with pizza. As she entered Spinel and PP’s view, Spinel saw that she was holding a large meat pizza, the same pizza they had been eating.

“Hey!” Spinel rose up from the ground as soon as she saw their pizza in Blue’s hands “That’s our pizza!” Blue looked down on the slice she had just picked up as if considering whether or not she should eat it before shrugging and taking a large bite making Spinel gasp.

Yellow let out another groan as she rubbed her temples “Clowns, clowns everywhere.” she let out before sighing and turning to her girlfriend “But to answer your question, these two clowns” she gestured to Spinel and PP “disagreed over what a poorly written word said in this” she raised the letter that she was holding “and then Spinel accidentally raise her voice and swore at Pink and Spinel got all sad and self depreciating because of tha-”

“That’s a vast oversimplification” PP satated coldly.

“Yeah whatever” Yellow returned.

Blue took the letter out of Yellow’s hand, opening it. “What word were they arguing over?” she asked as she scanned the paper in her hands.

Yellow got up close to Blue pointing to the top of the paper “The first word” she answered. She leaned on Blue as she looked at the paper “Which to be honest is pretty dumb” she declared “It clearly says _ Spi _-”

“_ Sorry _” Blue interrupted.

“Huh?” Yellow made a confused look back.

Blue pointed to the paper “It clearly says _ Sorry _” she said very matter of factly.

Yellow glared at Blue, though if she returned the glare was impossible to know under her hair “No. It clearly says _ Spinel _. I know you usually think you’re the smart one out of the two of us,” she paused for a second before following that up with “which is obviously very false.” she smirked at Blue “But in this case i am indisputably right”

Blue didn’t even look at her girlfriend before responding “It’s funny that you think you are me and that I am you.” 

Yellow had started glaring daggers at Blue “I know you’re not implying what I think you are implying”

“What?” Blue asked as a smirk started forming on her face “That you are the one who always thinks she’s the smart one despite that being obviously false and that I am the one who is indisputably right?” by that point her smirk had turned into a full on grin.

Yellow swatted the letter out of Blue’s hand “I’m gonna make you eat those words” she said as she started pushing Blue up to the bathroom wall.

“Oh, are you” Blue responded as she snickered.

Before either Spinel or PP knew it, Yellow and Blue were engaged in a very rough and hot make out session completely forgetting about the two of them.

Whilst Spinel was thoroughly enjoying herself as the two quickly became even rougher, PP grabbed her hand and pulled the two of them out of the room. “Aww, I wanted to keep watching” Spinel pouted to which PP glared at her for.

_ Eh, you can’t always get what you want. _


End file.
